ESPN Announces that NBA Announces New Rule Before LeBron Announces Announcing

"I like it in the butthole. Seriously."

Fourth and Fifty has gained information ahead of the announcement of LeBron James’ choice of teams later tonight. Before the hour-long special – the LeBronathon if you will – the NBA and David Stern will reveal some crucial changes to help The King make up his mind. With the signs pointing to LeBron joining the Miami Heat to play along side Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade, Stern wanted to make sure to allow his youngest nova to flourish.

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August 4th Houston FaF Smear

People are fragile things, you should know by now. You’ll speak when you’re spoken to.

Do you hear that? Its the sound of putting one in my leg.

Do you hear that? It's the sound of putting one in my leg.

Plax (not that old school mouthwash stuff) suffered a bit of a setback in his legal situation yesterday. A grand jury indicted him on two counts of weapons possession and one of reckless shooting of one’s self in the leg endangerment. This could end badly for Burress who faces a minimum 3.5 years in the slammer if he’s convicted in the next round.

No worries on my end, however. I figure this means I’ll be able to take him in the 17th round of our Fantasy draft. Plax is my ultimate-nobody’s-gonna-see-it-coming sleeper this year. You can take that shit to the bank! The teller might look at you funny, but you must insist that it is valid tender. A safety deposit box may be in order. Ha, safety… you know, the thing that Plax didn’t have set on his glock.

Seriously though, Plax has been on my fantasy league team for three years running. What the hell am I going to do? Who’s going to explode (ha! another gun reference) for the first couple of games only to run his mouth and fail to live up to expectations the rest of the season? I’m counting on your Predator. You’re my keeper. Don’t disappoint me by not disappointing me (that makes sense, right?).

For the record, nobody else who testified in front of the Grand Jury was indicted of any charges, which I think is bullshit. Burress’ nanny should have been implicated for allowing him to wear sweatpants to a club in the least.
[Story from ESPN]

Now on to your Houston sports updates:

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