March Madness Malarkey of Massive Magnitude

It's just like Hoffeinz - no fans!


It’s the most wonderful time of year again, my fellow FAFians. Not Christmas, not Superbowl weekend, no that time that Chick-Fil-A dropped an extra nugget in the little box. It’s March Madness.

And this year, it’s extra mad because of our much-maligned Men’s Cougar Basketball team shocking the entire country state city by putting a beat-down on C-USA and booking a spot in the Big Dance for the first time since ’92. Continue reading

NFL Roundup

Buffalo+Bills+v+St+Louis+Rams+IX-XTEfxKRbl

All was quiet on the Texans front this week, allowing the team to dwell for a full 2 weeks on Kris Brown’s cock-up last week against the Colts. This means I have to write about all the other teams that decided not to take the week off. Continue reading

FAF Opponent Essentials: Tulsa!

Each week, or when we feel like putting effort into it, FAF will size up our opponent, and provide you, our faithful readers, with plenty of fodder for hating the opposing team. Because that’s what we do at FAF. We don’t cheer our team on in a good-natured manner, to remain “classy” or “sportsmanlike” or “respectful”. We bring the mother effin’ pain in the form of the truth! If you can’t handle it, go reminisce about the Veer on Coogfans! This is the new era of UH, where we take no prisoners and rape and pillage on our way to championships! This week, Tulsa. And we are honored to have a special guest to tell us the highlights of his university…..

tulsa

Is that a beehive?

Hi, I’m Dr. Douchebag Phil. You might know me from my moderately famous, but now outdated TV show,where I act like an insufferable ass and talk down to people in an attempt to help them. Britney Spears? Totally fixed that psycho-bitch after I stormed into that hospital Norman Schwarzkopf-style and slapped her around something fierce.

But you might not realize that I played some football in my younger days. Actually you probably could tell, because I’m rather overweight. I played  a little linebacker for the Tulsa Golden Hurricane (I know, what the fuck is a Golden Hurricane, right? No idea). Here’s a few more things you might not know about my alma mater: Continue reading

NFL: Texans Recap

austin-powers1

Yesterday, while partaking in the Texans game on CBS, I came across Shannon Sharpe dressed as Austin Powers. I guess it was the day after Halloween, but come on. Who allows him to wear a red velvet suit on air? Is he George Costanza’s brother from another mother? Get it together CBS. Continue reading

An All Too Brief Homecoming Preview

Kickin' it Old School

Kickin' it Old School

Ah, Homecoming. In High school, it meant trying to overcome your retardness for just one to impress the girl who you guilted into wearing a stupid fucking shiny piece of crap on her boob all day at the dance. It meant buying a cheap suit from K&G Fashion Superstore or SuitMart. And it meant embarrassment.

In college, everything would be different! We’d get laid constantly, no awkwardness, and we’d totally drink beer all the time. Only the latter happened. Instead, our awkwardness was translated into a fucking parade, and a series of skits and shitty events put on to lure Cougars on campus to giving a shit about their University. And the week usually ended with the Coogs struggling to beat the likes of Army, UAB or Tulsa before they got better. Continue reading

Texans Bounce Back by Beating Bungling Bengals (UPDATE)

Just go deep, they can't cover us for shit!

Just go deep, they can't cover us for shit!

Normally, a victory of the Bungles would be nothing worth noting. A foregone conclusion when the schedule comes out each year. And so it seemed in the off-season.  But somehow, someway, the Bengals managed to jump out to a 4-1 start. They led the AFC North going into the game (still do thanks to a tie break over the Steelers), and looked damn good for a team of criminals nobodies.

Continue reading

FaF Opponent Essentials: Tulane

Each week we’ll dig deep to find the best dirt on the next opponent of the Cougars. If you have any suggestions for us, e-mail them to as (admin@fourthandfifty.com) and we’ll make sure to include them. Generic shit-talk is highly encouraged.

tulane_green_wave_iphone_wallpaper

Big 12? Amateurs. SEC? UFL prospects at best. C-USA? Now you’re striking fear into the hearts of Cougar fans everywhere.

Each C-USA opponent worries me in a different way. UTEP, it’s really far away, so our boys got tired and couldn’t perform. Rice, the girls on the sidelines are so damn ugly our players could be blinded and not be able to play. Tulane? They’re close to New Orleans. Shit hole before the storm, shit hole after the storm.

Continue reading