Houston Sports Lebron Smear (7/9/10)

SOTD – “Mr. Pitiful” Matt Costa

Traitor is spelled L-E-B-R-O-N in Cleveland

First of all, out of respect to Cavs owner Dan Gilbert, the rest of this post will be written in comic sans.

“The Decision” has been made, and unfortunately we were all witnesses last night. I have no dog in this fight since my 2 teams (Spurs and Rockets) were unaffected, but as an innocent bystander, I think the big loser is Lebron. I have family in the Miami area, so first I put myself in their shoes, which made me feel excited and kinda dirty, which is oddly appropriate since that is about how you feel any time you are actually in Miami. But, I couldn’t help but sympathize with the Cavs fans, since I was 15 in San Antonio when Tim Duncan was a young free agent. The HEB by my house, which he shopped at, hired a crane for 2 weeks to fly a “Stay Tim Stay” flag. Luckily for us he stayed and we won 3 more championships.

Ugh… that’s enough Comic Sans…. However, as a third party, Lebron’s choice says the following things to me:

 First, he doesn’t have the mental and testicular fortitude to put a team on his back and win a championship like his idle MJ. Before now, a younger superstar might have look to some past their prime veterans for the experience to help them win their first title, but never has a younger superstar had to join his peer or competitor to help. This was ok for the aging trio of Allen, Pierce and KG because their window was closing. If Lebron wants to be known as the best of his era, he needs to have the most titles, and as of right now he will be D-Wade -1. This isn’t something a dominant competitive player would do. MJ and Kobe are too obsessed with proving they are better than EVERYONE including their own teammates, and that’s what makes people respect them even more. Everyone likes someone who has a killer instinct and can SINGLE HANDEDLY crush the competition and rip their heart out. In my opinion, Lebron just made Kobe more likeable (yuck!).

Second, Lebron told the owners that it’s not ok for you to collude behind the players’ backs, but it is ok for the players to collude behind the owners backs.

Lebron is no “hero” for taking less money to play with D-Wade and Bosh. Maybe if he were taking less money to stay with the Cavs so they could pay some better players. Taking less money to play on another team is not something alpha dog players do. It is something other players do to play with the alpha dogs. This basically maginfies the big FUCK YOU he gave to Cleveland, whose main export is depression.

Finally, Lebron James is all that is wrong and evil about professional sports. As I argued earlier, we want to see fearless killers on the field of play in any sport, the hunger to win a title no matter who is on your team and what kind of underdog you are. Lebron just proved he just wants to win without working very hard at it, while being on a team with his friends, in a location where he can party all the time. Wait, all that sounds right up FaF’s alley… WHERE CAN I GET A LEBRON HEAT JERSEY?!

On to your Houston Sports Updates:

According to ESPN, all sports activities were postponed yesterday while Lebron finalized “The Decision”

But, the Astros won, the Rockets were somehow involved in a trade so Miami could get rid of Michael Beasley’s crazy ass pay their superstars, and UH is still fucked



  1. The Houston Rockets recruiting new Power Dancers this weekend didn’t make your FAF smear?

    …I’m shocked! Perhaps on Monday :)

  2. Not one of the 9 people who reads this site cares about preliminary rockets power dancer tryouts. Mainly since it happens behind closed doors.

  3. The only thing worse than the LJ sideshow was the ass kissers that followed. Mark Jackson saying that he gathered his kids around so they could see this and the “sacrifice” he made. And that the Cavs fans should not be burning his jerseys they should be hanging it in honor. Then today was Michael Smith that said that Bron did not own the Cavs a courtesy phone call to tell them he was leaving. Of course there was the guy on 790 that said having LeBron call the Cavs before “The Decision” was akin to slavery.
    I could give a crap about the NBA sans Rockets but now they do not even deserve my cat’s crap.

  4. Here’s something to ponder… and this is not my original thought: The tax writeoff from the “planned announcement” will make up for any so-called cuts in pay.

    That man signed the most lucrative contract years ago with the intention of being so sought after later on that it’s almost nauseating how well he played it. He played everyone… Cleveland, the Knicks, me, my sister… probably your mom.

    I don’t know whether to tip my hat or wash my ass from this.

  5. I think DeLonte West was the one playing momz.

    Nice to see the FaF back up on the interwebs too, nice to have ya’ll(one) back. Coogfans was killing me…slowly.

  6. what the hell is going on around here? 40 something days til football season. Fucking thunderdome bitches.

    • no kidding – i got my 6 season tickets in 12X and two parking passes this year

      bring on the tailgate!

      • my tix in 221 got moved to the 50 yard line in the consolidation this year…and I convinced the old man to pick a pair on the west side. I prefer to sit by the visitors you know…I can’t get along with anybody anyway, so if I’m going to get in a fight, I’d prefer it be with the visitors. Last time Mississippi State was in the Rob in ’03 or ’04 (?) it wasn’t pretty. They are easily the most racist fans I have ever crossed. Of course back in those days we could bring booze in and smoke in the stadium there were so few of us at the games it didnt matter…I’m wondering what these 10K new season ticket holders are like.

  7. Tickets? Parking? I have a valid current id (free games) even though UH denied my law app. Even Ole Miss offered me money and a spot as a longsnapper. Next thing you know you’ll be wanting me to contribute to the beer I drink and food I eat.

    Hey did I mention me, me or me?

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