Looks like Houston has a new Public Enemy # 1: Joel Przybilla.
You’ve watched the series. You’ve seen the Przybilla flops, the grabasses, the dirty bumps, the rabblerousing and the righteous indignation every time a foul is called on him. I’m 100% sure he’s good for an undercut on Carl Landry at some point in this series. That guy should totally be on the Jazz. Those racist Salt Lake City folks would love them some big white Joel Przybilla. If you read the racist Jazz fan link, I hope you agree that the guy who did that to Derek Fisher should go to hell. Seriously.
Back to the lecture at hand (1:20 into the video). Here are some fun facts about Przybilla.
He actually received a Defensive Player of the Year vote (for third place, but still). If this doesn’t speak to the need for transparency in the voting process, I don’t know what does.
He was drafted by the Rockets. Before you start freaking out, remember this was the Matt Maloney/Bryce Drew era. His wikipedia page also says he was pursued by “several teams” when he became a free agent in 2005-2006, but re-signed with the Blazers because he is “extremely loyal”. Didn’t they fix wikipedia from all the problems it was having a few years ago? College kids – this is reason enough as to why you should never cite wikipedia on a paper.
His tan is fake and bake.
His older brother played in the NBA.
His younger brother starts at point guard for the Blazers. This makes the travel schedule much easier on Mrs. Przybilla so she can see her boys play. She’s so proud of Joel and Stephen.
He has a Facebook page. One of the many reasons to keep your kids away from the internet. It is strange that he has so few friends, being a starting basketball player in one of the most rabid sports towns in America. I almost have that many, and I’m an antisocial bastard that no one likes!
He was in the Army for a brief period of time, but was kicked out over a jelly donut.
He was a white supremacist in college.
But then he went to prison and found Jesus.
UPDATE — He is a clean and righteous player on a mission from God to uphold decorum and gentility on the court:
If you have other fun facts about the Big Spell Check, please feel free to post them in the comments section.
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