The Smear 2/4/10: Sign the Dotted Line, Homie

Song of the Day: Queens of the Stone Age – “In the Fade”

I color my nails with White Out because I'm lonely.

Have at it, you heathens. I know you want to talk all about signing day and how much you’re looking forward to having the new recruiting class. Maybe you can throw in a couple of woulda-coulda-shoulda’s in reference to Jackson Jeffcoat signing with the Longhorns.

You’ve certainly already seen it, touched it, smelled it, tasted it… but here’s your list of 2010 Commits anyway (according to Scout.com).

The Cougars ended up ranked #54 by Scout.com (here) and #45 by Rivals.com (here), but they will always be #1 in our hearts. Right, boys?

With 12 of the 27 total recruits being on the defensive side of the ball, it looks like Sumlin is really trying to shore up the weakest part of the team. That’s good news. Considering the offensive powerhouse that is the Coogs, I would imagine it would be rather difficult to recruit kids with the “well, you’re going to get embarrassed at every practice. Then, on game day, you’re going to drop your pants around your ankles and take it like a man,” line.

Especially with the flight of coordinators away from the program, being able to maintain the high level of Commits through signing day is particularly a good sign. Then again, with Oklahoma State coming in with the #18 recruit class (or #31, depending who you ask), maybe Holgorsen didn’t need to do any Lane Kiffin-style pilfering.

So, there you go. I wrote a bunch of words to justify you writing a bunch of words in the comments section. Feel free to just skip the rest of this nonsense… BUT, IF YOU DO skip my next 300 words, you’re going to miss one of the all-time great commercials.

DYNAMO – ZE FUTBOL IZ BACK! Once again the Dynamo will kick off the season against in-state-rival FC Dallas. March 27th is the day that the MLS will kick off once again, only to trudge through a mediocre season and be surprised by a sub-.500 team winning the cup. Oh, the joy of the soccer. The rest of the Dynamo schedule can be found here.

TEXANS – It wasn’t just signing day for college recruits, it’s been signing week for the Texans who decided that after their first winning season needed to be celebrated. In honor of such an accomplishment they picked up Matt Schaub’s $10M option based mostly on the fact that he made the Pro Bowl by default AND the Texans also gave Gary Kubiak a new deal to keep him through the 2012 season. That settles that… Now we just have to wait until Houston is everyone’s favorite “darkhorse” pick to make a playoff run. Ah, the optimism of the off-season.

ASTROS – Did something by signing someone… Seriously, anybody want to write about the Astros for FaF? I’m tired of pretending to care. I’d rather watch every curling match of the Winter Olympics than a single baseball game next season (though, I will be going to Wrigley in May… Take that, a-holes!).

KEVIN KOLB – I’m trying to keep up my end of the bargain with publishing KK related news. Will the Eagles keep Vick? Will they trade him? Will they release him? Will they put him in a rape stand until he pleads Uncle Tom? Who knows… (the Shadow knows). The latest reports are that the Iggles are going to pick up Vick’s option. $5.25Million for a third-string quarterback? Why not… You released Brian Dawkins, yet want to keep Michael Vick. Fuck you, Philadelphia management. Stop messing with my heart.

ROCKETS – The Scrapulous Rockets are moving Jermaine Taylor from the D-League back to the bench. This is noteworthy because… I really don’t know why. Fuck it. Let’s move on.

UNIVERSITY of HOUSTON – Lost to UTEP. Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen.

FRENCH AIDeS COMMERCIALS – Let me preface this by saying THIS IS NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK. Under any circumstances, do not open this if your boss is near you. Actually, I’m not too sure how touchy cartoon almost-porn is these days. But I don’t want to hear any “Septy, you didn’t tell us that it was going to be two dudes boffing a watermelon… Woe is me. I am no unemployed.” So, you’ve been warned.

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