Septimus Rex
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Song of the Day – Chicago’s Hard to Say I’m Sorry.
Chad – since you’re just going to criticize whatever I write in this space and do your own smear in the comments section, have at it tough guy. TOUGH GUY!!!!
Everyone else – be sure to bitch Chad out for whichever of your niche interests Chad doesn’t cover in precisely enough depth.
Don’t leave us hanging, Chad. HOOOOOO!!!
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Why all the hostility? Here’s my fafsmear:
Rockets – who cares? The real question is when will manu get his nose back? Poor spurs and their injuries. Just hanging low and waiting till after all star break to turn it on. Will there be any other 6/7/8 seed that noone will want to play other than the spurs during playoffs? Don’t think so
Texans – plays the Chris Johnsons tonight in monday night football. Oh yeah, vince young just wins football games. Unless the playbook includes more than 10 plays. Or unless its 2008. Can’t they just call it as it is: vy is an excellent athelete with a peanut brain that needs a good defense to win football games. And chris johnson. The other johnson apparently wants out if the texans
Miss the playoffs. I don’t blame him – one of the greatest waste of talent I have ever seen. I gave up on the texans after the sagencopter.
Astros – heard an interview with the gm and he wants to inject the team with young blood. Siunds to me like the astros are going to have a fire sale and were in rebuild mode. Oh yeah, season ticket holders – please keep buying tickets so we can have the 8th highest payroill and another crappy season.
Dynamo – getting a new stadium? I think they should pay to expand the rob.
Coogs – kicked the crap out of memphis and dropped to 25 in the ap poll? Whaaaaaat??? Hell, I’m just glad were still ranked after the turd in ucf. Pumped for the rice game, my baby apparently will make an appearance. Every time he watches the coogs they win, so gotta keep him up, damn the consequences! The sacrifices I make for the coogs!
Rice – jesus hates nerds. You can take that to the bank.
I charge 200 per hour for this smear, the bill is in the mail
Sagencopter…hells yes.
Rosencopter…FTL!
By the way, for those who care, I’m not chad. I’m just a guy hoping to get into that 32k per year action that bloggers apparently make
You didn’t discuss Sat night’s UFC PPV, which is the sports niche I care about. YOU’RE FIRED!
Next?
Wow. One guy comes out (no homo) and TRG comes un-glued, thin skin shows…
Any way you cut it, it is good readin’.
Rock on everyone…
as a side: i dated a Rice chick one time, and as a weird coincidence, her tits were ugly…
that is tragic. There is nothing more dissapointing.
You sure I’m not fired because I rebuffed your sexual advances on saturday? That’s sexual harassment biatch! Ill call shazam and sue you and your stash. Can you be fired if you’re not getting paid? Ask my secretary – the answer is hell yeah!
TRG you have derailed.
But, because I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t…
Astros – Thank God there’s still ~113 days until this team becomes relevant.
Rockets – Benching McGrady. Looking to collect on the “Jeff Bagwell” Insurance clause. If he sits out enough games this year, the rockets can recover 20+ million back from his contract. Over/under on the McGrady media meltdown is 17 days.
Texans – Looking to prove once and for all that their decision making at the 2006 draft wasn’t the total outrage we all once thought it was. Andre Johnson has agreed to play at least 1 more week…despite his uncle’s advice….and needs to score less that 6 points so I can win my fantasy match up.
Cougar Football – Keenum had 405 yards and 5 TD’s in the first 35 minutes of play. Cotton Turner looked like he can play too. Dugat managed not to muff any of #43′s miraculous punts. Good day. Cleveland and Beall sat out. If Rice goes back to running the option this we are donesky.
Cougar Basketball – Lost. They made it an entire game further than last season before their first L. Penders is done. Better sooner than later.
Eagles – Won. Kolb DNP.
Spurs – Beat the Wizards. Tim Duncan still hasn’t retired, but it gets a little closer every day.
Cowboys – Won, and have somehow made it to 7-3 with no signs of an offense. Nick Folk is killing me.
Whorn – Claims OU has an amazing defense. Tech hung 40+ on them this weekend. Whorn travels to Kyle Field to play the Ags who just destroyed Baylor. Will it be more annoying to listen to UT fans if they go to the NC or Aggie fans if they beat the horns? Fuck.
OSU – Hoping for a win for Texas, so they can go to the Fiesta Bowl. As a Coog fan (not a coogfan), do you root for Texas so OSU (who we soundly beat) can get into a BCS bowl, or root against Texas just because they are Texas? I haven’t made up my mind yet.
Coogfans – are fighting over a beer that one of their beligerent alums stumbled into the RV lot and requested after the game. Imagine that…asking for a beer at a tailgate. OR…Imagine that…Coogfans fighting. Also…all students who wear “Ruck Fice” shirts have been labeled “Classless Morons,” and have been instructed to stay home.
Scampi – ranked the Coogs 22nd in his poll this week. I am cutting him slack because he had to watch the UH Men’s Basketball Team. Poor bastard.
FAF – TRG is folding after having one critical reader of his posts. It’s okay because his dedication to his post writing is about as strong as his dedication to attending UH football games. He’s become a typical UH Alum.
That is all.
Cougar Basketball – Lost. They made it an entire game further than last season before their first L. Penders is done. Better sooner than later.
—————————————–
So much for that suspense.
I’m not sure how to react and not sure how Coogfans reacts to getting steamrolled by a good OOC squad. If the past is an indicator, they took it as badly as Memphis running a 27-0 locomotive on them in the CUSA tourney last spring and blamed it in the scheduling…you know, because they knew when to wake up before the game. Amirite? Penders couldn’t give us the Georgia Southern schpiel…
I root against Okie Lite so another “no-name” gets in. Sure, they are only “no-name” to the douchebags who think the college sports world ends with the Big 10 or SEC, but what can you do? Douchebags who Fail at douchebaggery…that wouldn’t cut it here!
It’ll come tomorrow, but Texans proved to be themselves. Close, but no stogie. Sissies. The Most Interesting Man in the World has awkward moments just to have one….These guys? They do it to keep from growing up and moving up on the NFL totem pole.
The Rockets are watchable enough that I consider dropping cash on a ducket to watch them. I hagve not thougth this since before the disease known as Pat Riley’s Thugball infected the NBA! I would consider going to Toyota Center to watch anything but an Aeros game! I am becoming a very soft 5’11″ 205 at my age.
Astros? Well, no. While I crave a redux of 1992 all over again to flush the Brian Moehler’s of the world out of The Juice Box, I could find watchable steroidball elsewhere.
Finally, Cuck Foogfans, fuck everyone who dismissed UCONN as a speed bump (okay, now a pothole!) to brush off between Domer High losses to Pitt and Stanford because they finally got one for J Howard, fuck lilly-livered Coogfan who thought UTEP was too good to lose to the likes of Tulane and Rice. fuck anyone who actually thought that LSU was any more than the UTEP of the SEC with some talent, fuck these two exams I have tomorrow, fuck Domer fan for thinking just ANY coach would coach in that far-flung suburb of Chicago….Pat Fitzgerald at Northwestern rules (got turned away by Domer High before playing for NW–who owns now, bitch?), and God Bless RUTHLESS AGGRESSION!
You can just skip to about 2:30, but then again, if we can have a pic of hacksaw up top and no reference to the APA with all the forum debauchery and drinking….
Much more well thought out than mine. Chad, you deserve that 32k per year
yah right. I would guess that the average blogger makes $32K including their day job. It takes a ton of marketing (capital investment, grass roots, viral) and determination to make anything like this turn a profit. I believe that is the only reason this sight hasn’t already been a huge success.
Chad, you’re hired. Your starting salary is $0, but if you work hard, we will double it in the next Fiscal Year.
Ruck Fice is classless and moronic. Now Rice Girls Are Ugly? Those shirts and the shit, and anyone who wears them has a big dick and a big IQ.
Classless and moronic (in my experience) = Good times and Great memories.
It’s a classless classic. Making fun of our inability to spell/spellcheck! Holy crap!
New shirt idea:
Front: Stop Coogin’ It!
Back: Ruck Fice in their Asspid Stuholes
Upside-down on the inside of the front: Coogfans R GA! Holy crap!
And…the Ridiculous Rumor of the Day – Bob Stoops says he will listen to what Notre Dame has to say.
That’s probably true, but you can’t travel anywhere in Oklahoma and not see “Bob Stoops for President” signs in the windows of people’s homes. Stoops is cut from the same cloth as Sumlin (or the other way around) and there is no way Stoops leaves. He could however use a Notre Dame offer to bolster his stock at OU after a poor season. Because you don’t really know how much you love someone until you think they might be gone.
Rice tshirt ideas:
Rice = brittney
Uh = kfed
NERDS R GAY
E = MCfuckrice
UH : we’ve got a hung jury
JESUS HATES NERDS
I think you mean…
UH: We’ve got a well hung jury.
Tortillazorro = Stuck in court, will reply to blogs.
And even if I liked dudes, which I don’t, there is no way I’d go filipino. Even if I liked donkeys, like a certain donkey show coordinator, there is no way I’d go filipino donkey. I’d probably stick to peruvian.
Filipino donkeys have a well hung jury
To tell you the truth, since I started going out with FAF(homoz), the posts are getting better and the commenters are getting more sophisticated in their banter and overall shit-talking-ness.
Good job everyone, for bringing the mutherfuckery each and every week.
I just like how the random guy did no actual work today, and our FaF got twice the content it normally does
Also two people voted this post 5 stars, and there is absolutely no content what-so-ever… I think that is an insult?
Don’t think that went over my head. I realized it was a ploy to get me to do the post for him, and I knew he was mailing it in today as usual. But we all knew I was going to end up posting most of that stuff anyway.
Word, and word.
Also, I couldn’t pass up the oppurtunity to militaristically stake more claim to the Fourth and Fifty landscape for the Bottom Posters (less respectably referred to as readers). Today was a giant stride in our ongoing coup.
You are TRG’s power bottom
Houston’s Case Keenum joins Tebow and McCoy as the 3 finalists for the Davey O’Brien Award given to the best quarterback.
next year baby, next year.
Honestly, if you look at the original entry, you have a picture of Hacksaw Jim Fuckin’ Duggin’ and that eventually lead to 25 comments. Only a few months ago you couldnt get more than FAF guys posting back and forth to each other over a legit post…you guys have come a long way.
And just think, wait until T-Slack comes back online to post, your blog will kill!
Where is Big Hitter?
Where is Septimus? Bottom Posters outnumber FAF writers for the first time since the Tech OE.
I missed the party, apparently. Relatives came in from CO yesterday so I was afk almost all afternoon.
Septimus is busy brooding and trying to not get laid. He’s also busy working on the faf opponent essentials for the nerds. I hear its gonna be like shakespeare
I think Chad is taking adverse possession of FAF.
That’s funny in that no one gets it. Feel morally superior?
I got it. After looking it up
Yes, but I was mostly giving the lawyers an opportunity to come in and explain how it wouldn’t apply as FAF isn’t real property. You know how they be.
Also, no one wants to give me props for my “hanging chad” joke? How soon we forget…
Hanging Chad. TWSS.
So here’s my smear:
Coogs: no one at tailgate but Moose Knuckle and El Rat (Pipez, I know you had to be somewhere). Mrs_Hitter and I failed to dress appropriately for the foul weather, so we left at half and watched the rest of the beating on comcarp. Mrs_Hitter was very impressed by the coogs special teams play in the first half and I let Scampi know about that on his blog and lookey here – we got an article in the paper today about the special teams. Hmm…coinkydink?
Texans: look like they suck again and need Hogan
See you guys on Sat.
Not unlike the FAF, Scampi needs help doing his job, but takes direction very well. Before the Tech game he practically took a mash up of a number of my posts and put them in the print edition. Plagiarize much?
True that bro…i read his post thinking…this sounds really familiar.
Rumor: He is done with the Coogs after this year?