Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
All was quiet on the Texans front this week, allowing the team to dwell for a full 2 weeks on Kris Brown’s cock-up last week against the Colts. This means I have to write about all the other teams that decided not to take the week off.
First off, a Donnie Avery update. Guy is a stud. He caught 2 TD’s in the loss against the Saints, and had 67 yards receiving in a narrow loss to the Saints. He’s emerging as a solid choice at receiver, with 4 TD’s on the year. I still haven’t decided if it’s a good or bad thing that he’s on the Rams. One the one hand, the Rams are fucking incompetent. Marc Bulger has a noodle for an arm at this point in his career, and can barely move in the pocket. So I’d prefer he’d be on a good team, so that he could get more recognition for what he’s doing. On the other hand, if he were on a good team, he likely wouldn’t have started in his rookie year and wouldn’t have gotten the chance to do what he’s done so far in his career. Hopefully the Rams will pick it up, or he’ll get picked up in a trade.
The Cincinnati Bungles Bengals are for real. They’ve now beaten the Steelers twice this season, and are on a 3 game winning streak. They’re last loss? Against our favorite NFL team in week 6. I was sitting at home Saturday night, looking to see what was on the TV schedule for the day, finagling with my fantasy lineups for maximum suckittude domination. It suddenly struck me that I couldn’t remember what Chad Ochocinco’s former name was. Rogers? Smith? I only figured out that it was Johnson when I looked it up while writing this yesterday.
The Jets were not able to follow Coach Ryan’s advice and cut the balls off the Jaguars, falling to a late field goal. This was after Jones-Drew, a fantasy stalwart of mine, decided to run to the 1 yard line with about a minute left, and take a fucking knee. Not sure how this week is going to play out, but if I lose by 6 points, I will cut him from my team not like him very much until he scores another 3 TD’s for me.
Seabass Vollmer put on a fucking pass blocking clinic against Dwight Freeney, and earned the cock-slobbering praise of one Cris Colinsworth all night. He manhandled Freeney consistently, with little help from anyone else. Not bad for a guy who started playing Tackle in 2006, and wasn’t even invited to the NFL Combine last year.
This week, the Texans take on the Titans. Unfortunately, it’s not the 0-6, holy crap these guys are truly awful, Titans. Instead, it’s the sweet jeebus Chris Johnson is FAST, Titans. Vince Young just wins ball games, people. His retarded side arm slinging of the ball does not matter. Hopefully, the Texans D won’t leave Johnson uncovered on every play, and won’t let this happen again:
Fuck me, I hate Vince Young.
- Wanks MacGruber
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Blah blah Texans this, blah blah that…I smell another epic VY win on Monday night, insult to injury, part 2! And yes, that guy does nothing but win, scary stuff actually.
DOES ANYONE ELSE HATE BILL BELLICHEAT MORE THAN ME?!?! I am just checking…That is one P.O.S., arrogant, stuid-azz, no credit givin’, hoodie-wearin’, no handshaken’, Mutha fucka!
Oh yeah, and the Coogs lost, fuck me…but we are still in the Top 25! We are still in the Top 25??
Was it me or did the Coogs look totally dis-interested in playing? After the 2 fumbles it was like they said, ok guys…fuck it…lets wrap this shit up and piss away Conf. USA! We just officially ‘Cooged It’, round 2. Once again, our fate is not in our hands and we only have 2 games left. At this point, 10-2 and getting a ‘decent’ bowl game is good enough for me. At the beginning of the season, 10-2 (with a top 25 rank) would have been soul selling material.
agreed
I think they got a bit dejected by the early turnovers and the D got tired being out there. If we played the entire game like we played the last 3 mins, it would have been a blowout.
I still love my Coogs. See you guys on Saturday.
Word…win with them, lose with them…Go Coogs!
And I look forward to seeing everyone out at the game on Saturday.
Show up, wear red, be loud, and stay late!
Eat’em up!
Sign it was not the Coogs day: The worst offense on this land mass last season looked pretty serviceable in gashing up the Coogs front line.
I know, I know, there were about five SEC teams that were pretty damn close to the bottom of that list, but “they play defense in the SEC” or some gobbledegook like that.
Memo to someone…anyone…in charge of recruiting: Tight ends and fullbacks were invented to eat up clock–the defense ust may suck less if you recruited and used them–youknow, guys like Mark Hafner, but that can block. That may have been the one thing Art Briles did get right, but those stupid penalties and turnovers…
Anyway, watch that use of “Cooged it”…someone on Coogfans might shit themselves over that.
On to another week of douchebaggery, skullfuckery, grabassery, debauchery, battery, bitchery, clownery, crookery, and all the “ery” you can think of at FAF…
http://www.morewords.com/ends-with/ery/
UCF QB 21-25 passing. Bryce Beall 3 rushes for 3 yards, red zone fumble. Cougars lose.
Wild rumor of the day…Leach to Louisville, Sumlin-Holgerson to Tech.
Someone would have to pay with their soul for that to happen.