11/13/09 Houston Sports FaF Smear

Song of the Day – “Parting of the Sensory” Modest Mouse

Today I don’t sportz. My brain fucking hurts. I just finished a paper on the landscape of creating synthetic elastin fibers and components in vitro, and its current and future tissue engineering applications. I just hope I don’t fail for dropping too many F-bombs in it. I almost posted an “open smear” allowing our commenters to write their own FaF smear in the comments section, since some of them get some sort of weird validation by seeing hard to follow 900 word diatribes following their moniker. (Which upon further review, isn’t much different than the validation we actual fake writers get from seeing 500 word, or 2,000 in TRG’s case, hard to follow diatribes in our initial posts.) But then I realized, that the difference between the you all and us, is that you all come here seeking a direction for your comments, and we provide you the leadership you need by writing these posts.

Obviously, if you haven’t noticed by now, I am operating on 3 hours sleep and lots of coffee. I noticed this parting of the sensory (see what I did there?) when for the first time in my life I actually WANTED a snuggie.  I was finally at a point where I was tired, caffeinated, frustrated, and cold enough to throw away my vanity in order achieve a level of warmth that my blanket just could not provide me while writing my paper. I can’t wait until I can sleep….

So, in an effort to mention something sports related above the jump with out doing any sort of work what-so-ever. I would like to give a shout out to Frank Gore, for being a fantasy beast (when healthy) for the first 1/2 of the NFL season. You have been the most pleasant surprise on my roster, considering I was pretty sure I was picking you too high and wrote you off as a disappointment from day 1, and only justified the pick by the fact that I have Purple Jesus. I probably just jinxed the rest of your season and you will die somehow and someone’s gonna steal your carbon. Also, in the same vein, thanks Reggie for picking baby-punching Steve Smith 1 pick before me causing me to choose Gore and then Vincent Jackson with my next pick. I just want to remind you he was on the board there. (even though you may have forgotten the URL to the site you write for and will probably not read this) You could have had him, and had a stable RB stable.

UT - 3 football players were arrested for holding up a convenience store wearing UT apparel. What? That’s the other UT that has orange and white for colors? Awwww, damn it to hell. Just when I was getting my hopes up…

Houston Rockets - Are playing the Kings tonight. If they lose, write off the entire season. The vertically challenged staff of FaF could beat the Kings…. Well that might be a stretch, but I play D like Bruce Bowen in his prime.

Houston Texans - Unveiled their cheerleader swimsuit calender. It’s worthy material for work and other places internet porn has unfairly been deemed inappropriate. In a related story, FaF has finished shooting our own swimsuit calender for 2010. The cover features a soaking wet FaF crew glistening in the sun in banana hammocks complete with TRG making the “don’t get a boner, think about grandma” face. Picture that the rest of the day.

Houston Cougars - In an attempt to capitalize on the hype of hollywood ruining a good story with a shitty script and shitty acting, Scampi wrote an article about UH’s blindside. Nice try Scampi.

Rice Owls - Beat Angelo State in BBall…. Good for them. They were led by something called a Connor Frizzelle. Someone needs to tell him that it’s no longer cool to add izzle to things anymore. Snoop Dogg stopped doing it when white kids started to. Rice kids are so far behind.

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