The Adventures of Moose Knuckle

I'm not Moose Knuckle, but I'm everything he aspires to be.

Greetings my FaF faithful.  It has been many months since my last confession post.  Once the new TV season starts, it pretty much consumes a majority of my time.  Add in college football and forget about it.  Who has time to write  witty posts day in and day out?  Septimus Rex and The Random Guy; That’s who.  And The Random Guy even has Random Baby to take care of.  You know a lot of people say Septimus and TRG are a couple of untalented posers…

So as I said it has been a while since I have been able to post on here.  That is not to say that I haven’t tried though.  I wrote a tantalizing recap of the PGA Championship.  I even broke away from the golf for once and wrote a delightful commentary on the douchiness of Taylor Potts, Mike Leach, and the rest of the Tech faithful.  That was a few days after our masterful win back in September.  However, my posts were overlooked in the staging queue, and never got published for your reading pleasure.  Now I notified the powers that be that I had some good words to share, but my keyboard was silenced.  Am I bitter?  Never.  I have fought back out of the trenches to bring to you the useless sports news of the world.

Saturday night I embraced my FaF brothers Septimus and Pipez after the amazing and game winning field goal.  That’s right..THE field goal.  The shot heard round Tulsa.  Especially in Todd Graham’s bitch ass cheating ear.  To quote our radio broadcasters, “Smoke that cock Graham”.  Or maybe he said, “Put that in you pipe in smoke it”.  Semantics I say.  That same night I even attempted to chest bump Reginald Blackstone.  However, it turned into some type of pseudo-homo erotic embrace.  Per Septimus’ command we vowed never to attempt it again.  It’ll be straight tea-bagging from here on out.

I know the big question is what caused Moose Knuckle to come out of the lair?  Why now?  What could possibly be worth writing about.  Of course there are a multitude things to convey to our readers.  The spectacular season of our hometown heroes Case Keenum and his Cougars.  Golf.  Logging Sports. Televised Darts.  No, I’m afraid those all get left in the dark tonight.

For this resurgence I am bringing you coverage on the greatest sport of all time.  Trick Fornication College Women’s Rowing.  What is so exciting about that you might ask?  Well I will no longer keep you in suspense.

I give you spandex induced toe of camelus bactrianus (By the way does anyone find it funny that the latin name foe camel includes the word “anus”?)

Courtesy of Deadspin I give you a plethora of toe.  I know what you’re asking.  Does the combination of multiple toes in one spot add up to one big Knuckle?  I declare it does.  The Moose Knuckle supports the moose knuckle.  Congrats to the Clemson women for showing they’ve got the right stuff.  You just can’t go wrong with nicely enhanced female crotch area.

I also present you with this masterpiece of song dedicated to the art of the toe.

Thanks to Septimus for bringing this to my attention courtesy of Pipez.  I couldn’t have done it without them.

Now I’m going to try not to be such a stranger from now on.  I’ll also try to include more sports in my posts.  But I mean this kind of dealt with sports.  It had rowing and medals for first place.  That counts right?

But for my first post back in a while, I hope this has brought some type of joy to your otherwise boring life.  You’re welcome.  I have to go watch Real Housewives now.

Say hello to your mother for me,

Moose Knuckle

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