Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
Song of the Day – Ben Folds “One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces”
Today you do not get something funny to begin your FAF smear. You get a rant/call to action.
Case Keenum is a legitimate Heisman trophy contender. The Heisman trophy is hands down one of the most political awards in any sport on any level. This is not news to any of the 12 of you who typically read this site. There are 870 anonymous voters who are former winners and members of the media who have a say in the outcome. (Here is a list of people who are known voters)
So, I would like to point out to you what members of the media think about Cougar fans…. Well, I use the term “Cougar fans” lightly. Specifically, I would like to point out to you what they think about Coogfans.
Coogfans posters are the most whiney thin-skinned people ever. Anyone who says anything that could be misconstrued as a slight to UH gets blasted by these people. But they don’t just complain in private or in a forum that no one cares about, (aka their own sports blog message board) they make sure this person get blasted with emails and public comments about their “erroneous” opinion.
I used to think it was funny how up-tight Coogfans is, and how upset they get at everything. I can understand why Richard Justice would write something passive aggressive or back handed compliments about the Coogs on a slow news day. It’s rather entertaining to stir the pot.
However, the unfortunate consequence of having such a small fan-base is that these people become the only representatives of the UH Cougar community, just as the “GED Walmart Longhorn” is the main representative of UT. People view UH fans like the socially-awkward kids who were picked on in high school and now have an inferiority complex about what people think about them. (Cue song of the day!!!!)
So what does this have to do with Case and the Heisman? Well, the majority of the voters are members of the media, and if these media members write anything that is not about Case for Heisman, they are going to get the Coogfans treatment. So after being chastised by all these Cougar fans, why would someone want to vote for Case?
So, I want to make a call to action to all Cougar fans to stop these childish reactions to media members. Instead of berating them for not acknowledging Case, or supporting another candidate, respond with a RESPECTFUL, LOGICAL argument. You don’t need to brown-nose or bribe, but if you let the other candidates fans be the assholes, it just makes that candidate look bad.
Just t0 reinforce my point, I would like to include a portion of an email that one member of the Houston media wrote to us:
OK, one bit of advice — don’t pay any attention to Coogfans. Ever.
The vast majority are pissed-off idiots desperately searching for yet another reason to be even more pissed off. EVERYTHING to them is a sign of disrespect, a slight, an insult or a clear sign of the vast conspiracy to keep the Cougars down. I had an irate Coogfan knucklehead e-mail me because — I kid you not — my UH game story was 23 words shorter than Joseph Duarte’s UT game story, which (to Coogfans) was a blatant insult to the local university and its football program.
You’ll see — if you post anything that makes even a bit of fun of UH — even the things that obviously deserve to be made fun of — you’re going to get hammered by Coogfans. You’ll never win that battle, so don’t even try. Just be yourselves.
Is this what you want Joe Writer from the Pac-10 or Big-10 country to think about UH fans? If and when the athletic department launches Case for Heisman campaigns, do you want them to have to overcome our own fans?
This award is about politics, and UH fans, it’s time you learned how to play the political game. Kill people with kindness, and be informative. Don’t get sucked into idiotic arguments that make you look bad. Take the high road.
(Ironically, thanks to Coogfans poster and friend of FaF, Matamy, for pointing out the Heisman media connection and the website with the list of voters)
On to your Houston sports updates
Houston Astros and Cougars - Current Astro and former Coog baseballer Jason Bourne Michael Bourn won his first Golden Glove! When asked about the award, Vinny Ravielle said “JIMMY should have won it, but they wouldn’t play him because they are biased against JIMMY. JIMMY would be so good if they played him they would have to call it the JIMMY glove. JIMMY JIMMY JIMMY”
Houston Rockets - Got back to their winning ways against the Grizzlies last night. Don’t get your hopes up, the Grizzlies are the chick you slept with that was a 3 to bust your slump and rebuild your confidence. I would talk about stats and plays of the game, but that would require me to do something that resembled actual work rather than just making snarky comments.
Houston Texans – Have this weekend off. Hey so do I; pro-athletes… they’re just like us!
Houston Cougars – Coming later today (hopefully), our world (wide web) famous Opponent Essentials UCF edition. Get your last minute smack in!
Rice Owls – Have their best opportunity for a win this season this week against Tulane. This begs the question: if Rice wins a game and no one is there to see it, did they still win? PWND!!!…. A UH fan just talked smack about your attendance Rice! What’s that about our SAT scores and research funding? You nerds, you would bring that up on a sports blog! [Ed. note - Who is Pipez talking to?]
35 Comments
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Yes, because positive reinforcement from a bandwagon of 5 is sooooo much more effective. Sportswriters are the least professional and most arbitrary of any profession I can think of while writing this at 4 in the morning.
Instead of Pipez’ proactive discourse, I ask that all fans of Cougars join me in chain emailing the best 5h grade putdown ever:
You motherfuckin, tit sucking, son of a bitch. And when I look at you, you make my balls itch. You be illin’. Hey, hey, you be illin’.
That shit used to cause some fights back in the day. We should probably add a “no homo” to the balls section. Anyway, if you don’t think negative reinforcement works better 100 times out of 100, you’re crazy. Quit trying to be Obama and win the Nobel Peace Prize, Pipez.
I’ve been up everybody’s ass all year (no homo) and the Coogs and Keenum keep climbing the polls. Steve hates me, sure…you guys may hate me, maybe…but it works. Steve’s at the point where if he’s going to write something negative he sends me an email ahead of time to explain his rationale. Squeaky wheel gets the grease pipez….and from what I can tell, you need the lube. (yes homo) At this point I really don’t think it’s so much about what you say, as how many times you say it. If Keenum has more comments and emails strewn across the web that anyone…it doesn’t matter what they say…it’s the fact he’s getting more people talking than anyone else. As for the pathetic bunch that is coogfans.com… Now that they aren’t bitching for 5 minutes, they are pooling money to buy the CBS sports writer that wrote a good article about Keenum a bomber jacket. That is ridiculous. I am sorry…on the loserdom scale that one falls far below bribery, and just above sharting your pants. This is like the loser kid in school who has the popular chick he’s been whacking off to since freshman year say one nice thing to him and now he’s making her mix tapes and bringing her sentimental little hand made cards and proffessing his love and shit. Pathetic. Coogfans is embarassing to me as a Coog. Fuck these sportswriters…You don’t see Keenum and the school kissing their asses…just be confident in who we are, and forget the rest.
If they want to suck-up and buy someone a gay leather jacket, I could care-less. I never advocated any campaigning, or even said we needed it. My point was more broadly stating that “if you are going to say something to someone, don’t make yourself look like a douchebag.”
We are an 8-1 team with some good wins, I am confident that people will notice us and Case before the season is over if we keep it going.
The bomber jacket is just very try hard. It makes it seem like we’re reaching. And I can’t believe a fourth and fifty writer would advocate writing anything that doesn’t make one sound like a douche bag.
You sound like you “had two slices of bad pizza, went to bed, grew a conscience” – Jerry Maguire
Look I advocate being a douchebag, not sounding like one
FAIL.
No, Chad, Pipez is right. We advocate all sorts of douchebaggery, tomfoolery, chach-iness, galavantery, smarminess, motherfuckery (metaphorical and literal), scallywagism, carpetbaggery, federalism, anti-federalism, communism (as it pertains to basketball), neo-Marxism, NAMBLA-ism, unprofessionalism, slander, libel, miscreancy, sloth, fart-knockery, incestuousness, impracticable immaterialism, and neo-Zorothusraism. Get it right, dog.
and in turn when you write you sound like douche bags.
That’s going on our wall of fame.
Fart-knockery and incestuousness? LOL.
Hell to tha yah!
Case in point…a few weeks ago Cougar fans were complaining about a lack of coverage leading up to a game (I think USM). Scampi’s excuse was a lack of access to players…something Sumlin has been enforcing since the UTEP loss (the week after Tech was too crazy). The chron sports editor came out and stated that there was a struggle between the chron and the team about the amount of access the paper has to the team, and in what looked like a jab at UH, the Chron was not running UH articles. Did Sumlin or Mack change anything? No. Did they address the issue? No. Is the Chron covering the coogs? YES. Even moreso. Solomon, Justice, and Campbell this week. Why? because of the demand, because they have keep up with all the other outlets running press on the coogs. Point is…the coogs don’t need to pander to anyone….and neither do the fans. What we could use is a little swagger bitches. The team is an uber confident group, and a little confidence amongst the fans could really help out public perception.
I second your last statement Chad(no homo). It has been so long since there has been an ‘air’ of confidence with the UofH program, in any sport. And now we have football, which we all know is King in this nation’s landscape. We should have swagger at this point, with little reason to think otherwise. Basically this year’s games have replaced over a decade and a half worth of shoulda-couldas for me at UofH…I also happen to think that I lost about 2-3 weeks of my life due to the cardiac nature of some of the wins. And when we beat Tech, are you kidding me?!?!?
The fans should echo how the team feels, at least at this point, and that is confident. I know everyone here has heard Sumlin speak, that is one cool Kat! And it is easy to see how some one could have a huge man crush on him(super homo). But he is calm, kool, and collected at all times, Case is the same…after seeing Hogan in his post game interview, that kid has ice in his vains and could possibly be NOT HUMAN.
My point is, we need to let everyone catch up with what is going on in Houston as of late…it has been some time since Houston has been talked about on the national landscape and we can’t expect everyone to just all of a sudden catch up? The first will have to be the Chron, sure Scampi is new and IS a UT bum, but he does his job well…to inform the readers of what is happening with our football team and Coog athletic dept. You can start to see the other outlets starting to catch on, this is a swing in the right direction…which leads me to this:
If you build it, they will come…
You can apply this great line to EVERYTHING that we are trying to accomplish at UofH, from the school to the athletic’s stuff, to dorms, etc. This is just one piece of the puzzle, albeit a pretty big piece. Nothing changes for the one’s that have been championing UofH’s cause for years, support the school, show up to the games, buy merch, bring ppl to campus, and spread the word. When ppl join a new cause or support something new they want to make sure that they are not alone, they want to be a part of something bigger. This is mostly the case for a&m or tsippers…everyone else is wearing the tshirt so should I! (note: Anyone wearing NON-UofH gear on campus should be beaten and verbally berated, ALWAYS!…unless they are there for a game…then just the verbal stuff need apply.)
As for Coogfans:
Let the Coogfans have their webspace, the other under 50yr old crowd has other places to live and occupy. I, for the most part, do not pay much attention to them…but do understand that we need them to show up for games…with their vintage 1955 stadium seat chair and 40 year old hat with the string across the top, word.
And yes, Case should win the Heisman…odds are he won’t but should set him up and the Coogs next year to succeed at all levels.
Just as an aside, I am glad that you guys have a space for some real Coogs talk. I appreciate the work that all of yall do to keep up with them, it does help that they are nationally ranked and our QB pwns! Thanks guys…
Now if we could just get some more Mavs/Cowboys/Stars action up in here, I would be set!
I’ll cover the Stars but there’s no way in Todd Graham’s sphincter that I’m writing about the Mavs or Cowboys.
Todd Graham roots for the Mavs and Cowboys
Todd Graham also left pubes on your bar of soap.
Todd Graham pissed in Chad’s corn flakes this morning
I knew the last line would bring the hate!
I would settle for some Stars, nothing like Premier league hockey!
I was with you until the last line. I like how everyone’s comments are so lengthy today…this is my kind of blog!!! lol
“the other under 50yr old crowd has other places to live and occupy.”
thanks for including me
OK I am officially refusing to read comments over 150 words, starting now.
You shouldn’t need to make a long comment since you already had your little designated space to rant up at the top.
why, do you feel like the wedding guest from the rime of the ancient mariner or something? :p
emotion and enthusiasm make everything more interesting. Without it it’s all just text.
Outstanding Iron Maiden reference!
Its like 3 blogs, one site (no homoz).
6 dudez, 1 blog.
5 writers, 3 readers, one blog
LOL. This site has about as much marketing as a Case Keenum Heisman Campaign.
Actually, this site has 1 more reader than the ‘Case for Heisman’ page/blog.
Effing Oneton wants to turn this blog into Fox Sports Southwest. Although Rex does kindasort look like the spiky haired guy:
http://eleventybillionthblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/look-proof-that-ric-renner-has-muppet.html
I don’t wear my suit two sizes too big.
Though I do wear my jeans two sizes too small… Just as a good hipster should. Anybody seen my checkered vans? I’m pretty sure I slipped them off somewhere over here.
Check next to the mickey mouse shirt and peacoat, maybe.
BTW, all this (no gay) stuff? Unconscious; Freud wants a word with ya’ll.
I like it!
FAF Sports Southwest….it’s whats for dinner!
Coogfans are like Corky from Life Goes On. You just gotta feel sorry for them. I’d call ‘em tards but thats an insult to tards.
Burn.
And if we dared to venture over there right now, they’re probably bitchin’ about how they get no respect being ranked #12 in the country…you know, because 108 other teams have nothing better to do.
Of course, beating Missishitty State was supposed to bring UH from out of the Top 25 to the Top 10 or thereabouts.
Way.
I went to a Coog game and I ate nachos one day. There were a lot of people yelling there. Some were yelling at the field.