11/10/09 Houston Sports FaF Smear (The Big East Comes Knockin’… not really)

Song of the Day: The Dead 60s – “Riot Radio”

There’s nothing we do better around here than talk amongst ourselves/brag about fights we didn’t get into at Bubba’s. So, in that regard I know that once I get into the meat of this post everyone [read: Big Hitter and Chad] will skip down to the bottom of the post and start commenting their little hearts out. My muse for the morning happens to be an article (actually, just part of a Q&A) with Colin Dunlap, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette writer.

[Houston in the Big East? - Colin Dunlap]

You all just creamed your pants a little bit, didn’t you? I think I’ve mentioned it a couple of times on Fourth and Fifty, but I’ve been talking about a conference realignment within the next five years. Something along the lines of the 2005 rape and pillage of the mid-major conferences will probably happen. Except this time it might be a little different… Why? Two reasons.

• Big East Football = BCS Joke
• ACC Football = BCS Joke

That was my original thesis. Upon further review, the Big East actually has a .545 winning percentage (6-5) in BCS games. The Atlantic Coast Conference, however, has an atrocious .182 winning percentage (2-9) since the BCS made an even bigger mess of the national championship debate than we had before. Compare those numbers to the Mountain West (1.000 going 2-0), the WAC (1-1 at .500) and Independents [read: Notre Dame] (.000 going 0-3) and what we have here is an utter disarray.  [Note: The SEC has gone 12-5 and 5-0 in championship games... wow]

The Cougars haven’t done much in the way of proving themselves on the big stage as of late… We just broke our nearly-three-decade-long bowl losing streak last year. One would assume that the BCS would be a bit more anxiety-ridden than the Hawaii, Fort Worth or Liberty Bowls. But, I don’t believe that this counterpoint really usurps the point made above that the BCS is a joke and some of the conferences involved in the monopolistic contract to decide each year’s national champ are not pulling their weight.

Conferences want winners. Winners equal more money. Money equals power. Power equals blow, hookers and wold domination. That’s an equation I can get behind.

The problem with money is that the Houston Cougars just aren’t reliable enough on a week to week basis. I made a pact with the devil when we started this blog that I wouldn’t be bitching about attendance every week. And, thus far I have honored that commitment to a reader that probably doesn’t even come by the site anymore. Though, it makes a rather glaring point in the “should the Big East annex Houston” argument.

I’ve just gone through the past three years of media guides to pull this information myself… I hope you appreciate that. Unfortunately it’s a fact that we all know pretty well. Houston’s attendance is not quite up to snuff. Average home attendance was 21,910 in 2006, 20,995 in 2007 and 21,519 in 2008 (last year, I negated the Ike game against Air Force that was played in Fort Worth… if you include that attendance the actual figure would be 18,357 in 2008). I’m not a college football expert – even though I play one on the interwebz – but these numbers don’t look so great to a big conference with big stadiums (average Big East stadium capacity is 51,200 the smallest being Cincinnati’s Nippert Stadium coming in at 35,000).

Oh, and that’s the other thing… Roberston only holds about 33,000 fans. We set the “modern-day” attendance record against Texas Tech this year with 32,114 watching over John O’Quinn (/doffs cap, may he rest in peace) Field.

To wrap up this rather lofty tome, there’s really nothing better for us to do for the Cougar cause than show up at games and convince long-lost alumni to come along for the ride. We can argue until we’re blue in the face on whether or not we’re too good for Conference USA but it matters not. We need to bump up our stadium size and the only way to do that is to prove that we, the fans, are going to show up in force.

But, the Coogs need to hold up their end of the bargain as well. They need to keep winning. They need to hold the interest of this fickle sports town. I’m telling you, it’s an awesome sight on Saturdays driving around town and seeing “Houston Cougars Game” at every bar in town.

So… There’s only one thing left to say, “Kevin Sumlin, please stay. Pipez and the rest of Cougar Country want to have, like, a million of your babies.”

Now, on to the rest of your Houston sports updates:

ASTROS – The article is titled “Several Astros Vying for Top Awards” which means I will be skipping reading it at all and just assume it’s an April Fool’s Day prank come early. Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. Let’s all just move along.

HAKEEM OLAJUWON – I forget who originally told me that The Dream was tutoring Kobe Bryant on his patented Shake, but this pretty much seals it (mention is kind of far down in article). I know you gots to make yo’ money, Hakeem, but do you mind not doing it in the corner of the enemy? Is that too much to ask? I hope it’s not.

ROCKETS – Tracy McGrady is slated to return on the 18th of November for the game against the Minnesota Timberwolves. I wonder if he’s informed the team of his plans. Since, you know he didn’t inform the team that he would be done for the year AND he spoke out of turn of when he would be ready to play this year, already. I’m actually pretty excited about T-Mac finally returning to the court. This team is ENTIRELY too likable right now. What we really need is a pariah on the Rockets. A target for all scorn, ridicule and blame.

UNIVERSITY of HOUSTON – Patiently awaiting the return of Cougar basketball, all we have room for is conjecture. And conject (is that a word) is exactly what we and the media will do. The favorites this year for C-USA are Tulsa, Memphis and UTEP… in order as voted on by a jury of your peers (and by “peers” I mean sportswriters that think they are god’s gift to Rick Reily). Opening day is next week. Be prepared. Oh, and we didn’t even touch on our basketball program as being part of the Big East equation above… I guess that will have to wait for another day.

TEXANS – Larry Johnson? Larry Johnson. This team is ENTIRELY too likeable right now. What we really need is a pariah on the Texans. A target for all scorn, ridicule and blame. Wait, I already wrote that once today… Oh well.

YAO MING – Yao Ming hangs out with short, important, Chinese woman. This is news in China. Unfortunately, this one doesn’t come with horrible google translation.

RYAN MOATS – Hero one week, goat the next. Get used to it, buddy. Cheers on being chosen as one of the Least Valuable Players of week nine. Quite the accomplishment.

- Septimus Rex

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