Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
Song of the Day – Yeah Sapphire – The Hold Steady
Jerrah (yeeeee-haawww!) thought he was doing Dallas a favor by building his billion dollar dream stadium, bringing Dallas all the revenue of the Super Bowl this year. However, considering the fact that the NBA All-Star game is going to be in Dallas in February also, Dallas authorities are now concerned about the number of whores that will be in town.
I’m not talking about the typical fake-tanned, fake-breasted, fake-personality types (you might as well just buy a fake woman… they can’t give you herpes) that usually hang around Dallas bars looking for wealthy guys, but real, actual pay-for-sex whores. Well, upon further review I guess that there really is no difference… except the former case money isn’t directly exchanged for sex, only for bar-tabs and expensive dinners. Here’s an actual quote from the Dallas crime blog:
At the National Prostitute Diversion Conference today, Sgt. Louis Fellatio Felini said between 50,000 and 100,000 prostitutes could be in the metroplex for the Super Bowl. Felini noted that there is no way to truly predict the number of women who will come to the area for the purpose of prostitution.
Wait, they have a National Prostitute Diversion Conference??? How did they come up with that name? Are they diverting prostitutes? Where are they diverting them to, Fort Worth? Rest assured FaF will send law-enforcement field correspondent Moose Knuckle to learn how to get laid at next years NPDC, and he will write a 5,000 word sic’ed thesis on the event.
Now lets play a game. I’m going to give you an actual quote and you have to guess whether it was said by a police officer or prostitute
“We are definitely looking at reallocating resources, adjusting schedules so that we can meet the demands that are put on us.”
Now, on to your Houston sports updates:
Houston Rockets – ZOMG, The Rox brought back the ketchup and mustard jerseys as an alternate! I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that all their players are like condiments with no main course to go with them? They play the Thunder tonight.
Houston Texans – Are playing Pey-Pey and the Colts this week, if Manning can find time away from shooting commercials. Golden child Brian Cushing has been limited in practice, and there is no word on the RB situation. Kubiak is trying to sound like Bill Belichick with all this misinformation… The next thing we know, Snake Dick Owen Daniels will be making catches.
Houston Cougars – Case Keenum keeps racking up more honors. He was voted AT&T All-America player of the week, and named to the Maxwell Award watch list. Watch out this week Case, because Dr. Phil wants to tell you that you only throw for all these yards because your parents hate you, or you are depressed. Don’t listen to that fat bastard!
5 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Richard Justice wrote a Case4Heisman blog…then he called Tech Quarterbacks “Sand Aggies.” Didn’t someone here coin that term? How did that ever get legs. Oh the reaches (around) of the 4th and Fifty.
“dog breath”
seriously, wtf is up with that from RJ?
didn’t bother me…I am actually an RJ fan and understand his style. However I know for a fact that UT and the Big 12 have huge marketing capital even if it is not specifically referred to as “McCoy Heisman Campaign Dollars.” He is the face of UT and the B12…two entities spending mad dollars. That was my point….and when Tebow wins, ESPN wins…so there you go.
Unfortunately, FaF cannot take credit for the term sand-aggies. It has been around quite a while
Random Musings From Your Friend at the Zoo…
Anyone else find it interesting that Lance Berkman calls himself the Big Puma…being that he is from Rice, and a Puma is just another name for a Cougar?