Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
Sitting on the 59. Summer’s coming up from behind. All the way from ’92. I need to get myself a better look at you.
The Eagles roster is becoming a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Perhaps Andy Reid has a couple tricks still up his arm flab, but for now nothing makes sense. Many resolutions need to be decided on (like, right now) however there is one that we can rest easy on (for now).
Kevin “The Kolbatron” Kolb will remain the Eagles’ number two QB on the depth chart… well, that’s what I make of the situation, anyway. KK will have the entire fourth quarter to himself in Philly’s upcoming preseason game against the Jacksonville Jaguars tomorrow night. Also, Donovan McNabb will be playing in the first three quarters of the game… Which leaves one, very high profile, much maligned quarter back without a timeslot under center.
Michael Vick is not scheduled (as far as anyone can figure out) to take any snaps in the coming game, so where does that put him? Are we going to see him in the Wilddogcat formation? Slot receiver? Running the wishbone (would be so awesome)?
Kolb, Mr. Hometown Hero, Mr. Starting-UH-Back-on-the-Road-to-Respectability, please don’t mess this up for yourself. Don’t mess it up for us either. The last time we sacrificed our reputation for a dog killer was when we hired Dana Dimel and that didn’t turn out well for any of us (he was a hot dog killer, but still).
On to your Houston sports updates:
ASTROS – Houston continues it’s tour of the country making all other MLB teams feel a little bit better about themselves. The most recent stop in St. Louis had the ‘Stros hand Adam Wainwright his league-leading 15th win of the season. The 1-0 loss came at the hands of (who else) Albert Pujols, earning the only RBI of the game off of stalwart starting pitcher, Wandy Rodriguez. I do have to way Dub-Rod has been a great surprise for me this season.
DYNAMO – If the playoffs were to start today… Dynamo win the pennant!! Well, they would be the top ranked team. Then again, they have six more games to get through and only a five-point lead over the second-place LA Galaxy in the West (they break the MLS up into East and West, right?).
TEXANS – The petition starts right her, right now. Keep Glenn Martinez on the roster. Do it. Do it now. Get into the chopper. Moose Knuckle needs to have some ridiculous pick in our draft on Saturday Sunday. Glenn Martinez is it. His thought process? “Well, I have to fill in a back-up receiver spot… What’s the name of that team that plays in Houston? The Tex-Annes? I’ll pick one from them. That’s what I’ll do.”
Also, the Minnesota Brett Favres will be starting Brett Favre in the Favre-st and Favre-nd Favrers agains the Texans in the upcoming Favre game.
…Favre.
- Septimus Rex
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Well, I am more disheartened than a Roman soldier beating our Lord and Savior on his way to the Crucifiction. Does anyone think it’s only a coincidence that over the past few days Houston sports teams have lost to the Cardinals and the Saints? Repent! Repent! Repent your evil ways, Houstonians! It’s not too late!