Football Season Is Upon Us

Last night marked the glorious return of the NFL to our TV screens. This is a time of wonder and amazement, as we all rejoice at the sight of severely enhanced males clashing into each other with extreme force, all for our entertainment. Try to forget the ugly sight of Vince Young wearing a Houston Oilers logo on his helmet.  Try to forgot the sight of Alge Crumpler’s enormous ass making you question your ranking him 4th overall in TE’s.  Try to forget that Lendell White must have drank a lot of tequila to lose that much weight. For these are the sights that football is back.

Across the country, fans are compiling their fantasy draft boards in preparation for the weeks ahead. If you’re anything like these authors, and particularly Regginald, you’ll participate in somewhere between 2 and 78 fantasy leagues/teams.  And in all of those leagues, you will end up with at least 2 players on every single team. This happens because you use the same draft listing of best to worst players for every draft. It’s your tried and true secret to success.

But it inevitably leads to very similar teams across the board for you. I once ended up with 7 of the same players on two teams, thanks to Yahoo auto-drafting and a crappy player ranking list. So I suggest you create multiple draft orders based on the following:

• Best to worst for each position
• Most likely to end up fighting for playoff spots near season’s end, instead of sitting out for the last 3 weeks
• Most likely to not get hurt and totally fuck your season because you traded 3 other starters for him.
• Just for fun, players who will definitely get suspended during the season, so you can see how bad your team can be.

So choose wisely in these upcoming drafts.  And vary your choices. It’s lame to see your team fail every week because Edgarrin James had yet another 63 yard 0TD performance on your 4 teams.

- Wanks MacGruber

Image from here.