July 21st Houston FaF Smear (and NBA Trade Fodder)

I lit a cigarette on a parking meter. Corner boys told her how I was dying to meet her.

ummmm yeah

As we approach noon on this sunny Houston Tuesday, I’ve become aware of the fact that I have a “real job” and not just paid to write a blog from a cramped LaPorte office. The man (the one that TRG always imagines) is holding me down. Some might even contend that I’m being perpetually tea-bagged by this invisible force. I am here to perform like a filipino circus monkey. This fundamentally defines my existence, but I think I might have it a little better than Quentin Richardson.

Q-Rich is making his way to a 4th city in less than as many months since the season ended. He’s become nothing more than trade fodder for the NBA. Today he’s a Minnesota Timberwolf. Tomorrow he might get traded to the Indiana Pacers for corn futures. There is no ceiling (or basement, for that matter) that is out of question here.

Q ended the 2008-2009 campaign as part of the lowly New York Knickerbockers. From there he got dished to the equally as pathetic Memphis Grizzlies for the enormous failure Darko Milicic.  Then came the Clippers and finally the T-Wolves. At this rate he could potentially own a jersey from each of the bottom dozen teams in the league by the time August rolls around.

What do you say Sacramento? Washington? Any expiring contracts you want to trade? Throw in a pack of Bazooka gum and we might have a deal.

Good luck, Richardson. It’s hard to feel bad for you even though you’re about to bank $9.3 million this year, but somehow your plight just made my burden of spreadsheets and smoke breaks seem a little better.

On to your Houston sports updates:

ASTROS – Carlos Lee’s heroics led the ‘Stros past the Cardinals of St. Louis last night.  3-2 was the final. Lee’s three-run bomb in the fourth inning made the difference.  The Astros are looking like they may live up to their reputation of being a second-half team once again this year.

ROCKETS – Your new starting center is in town to sign his contract. David Andersen arrived to take his physical on Monday and the signing of his $4.8 million deal is imminent. Not bad for an almost-30-year-old that has been playing for FC Barcelona. This is one goofy looking dude, though.

UNIVERSITY of HOUSTON – Kendrick Washington is doing his best Wolverine impression these days. He’s having adamantium rods inserted into his shins to heal two breaks that were discovered after Washington was complaining about pain.  The retractable blades should help him box out on the low post and even cut avocadoes more effectively.

DYNAMO – Do you like soccer? Are you a girl? Are you between the ages of 8 and 18? If you answered yes to two out of three questions you should not be reading Fourth and Fifty. However, you qualify for the new Dynamo girls camp. $179 is all that it will take for you to sign up.

- Septimus Rex

[Photo from ZDNet]

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