We don’t sportz but we do Megan Fox

This movie is going to set all sorts of records for illegal downloads of the “nudie scenes”.  I don’t know why they called it Jennifer’s Body when they could have just called it Naked Demon Megan Fox. This is shaping up to be a watershed moment for the current pubescent generation, much like Fast Times at Ridgemont High was for 80s kids and the Doggystyle Album Cover was for 90s kids.

While I’m being all anachronistic, let me also express how pissed off I am at at how easy porn is to access now. Goldfish and I were discussing it the other day. Back in the day, you had to work for your erotic images. Whether it was utilizing the Victoria Secret catalogue or watching old Skinimax movies when you didn’t have the channel – you had to combat the snow in the picture and also the fact that the screen would roll up or down like old UHF channels. The point is, we had to use our imagination. Not like today’s youth.  We would also research which PG-13 movie had the most skin without a suggestive title or cover. There were two checkpoints to get past – the clerk at the video store, and your parents. Horror movies were underrated for this – if you rented one of those, it would totally throw off the scent. Lots of strategerie went into it. On rare occasion, one of the neighborhood kids would steal his dad’s Playboy, but if wasn’t often. I think we appreciated it more because it was scarce. Think about it in economic terms. My point is, we used to have to walk 5 miles uphill in the snow each way to get our groove on. We were pioneers. Kids these days have no understanding or respect of what we went through to make their lives easier.

That is all. Enjoy your red band trailer.

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