Duval, Mickelson Undone by the ‘Glover’ed One

Yeah those boobs ARE nice!

5 days later and we now have a champion crowned at the 2009 U.S. Open.  My longest of long-shots nearly pulled it off though.  When everyone thought I was crazy, I knew something special would happen.  Now had I actually called in from the beginning, would you have kicked yourself for not putting some money down on the big DD?  I’m sure the odds were like 400-1.

As you may have seen David Duval did not come home with the trophy of another major.  He came damn close.  I’ll be honest, after his first hole of the day I was discouraged.  But then came the storm of birdies that ultimately led to a minor letdown in a major championship.  He fought hard and never quit.  Here’s to hoping he’s back for good.  Only time will tell.

Mickelson almost fulfilled his wife’s wish of bringing home the U.S. Open trophy, but like Duval, puttered out at the end.  Literally.  His putter once again failed him.  However, he did set a new record for most second place finishes in the U.S. Open.  Will he ever pull it off.   I blame it on the pants [Ed. Note - Here's to hoping he doesn't pull those off]:

I think it goes without saying that both Duval and Mickelson were the crowd favorites.  Both have their emotional tales to tote around this week.  Mickelson with his sick wife, and Duval with his fall from glory.  I guess it was just not their time.  Personally, I was pulling for the big D, though a Mickelson victory would have been just as sweet.

Once again the course got the best of the Open this year.  The weather was simply awful.  A little birdie shouted out to his peeps (yeah those little marshmallow things) that the weather this year may cause the USGA never to return to Bethpage Black for another Open.  Too bad, so sad.  Thank you New York.  Way to fuck it up as usual.  I mean what do expect from fans like this:

Word on the street is that the fans got a little unruly this year.  Too much consuming of the soda alternatives led to some rude outbursts directed at Tiger.  When Tiger was trying to calm some fans while someone was playing, someone shouted, “relax, you’ve got your own video game.”  How that really applies to being quiet, I’ll never know.  But, residents of Long Island are rarely known for being bright.

So I know that you are are just dying to know who won.  Was it Ricky Barnes?  In fact it was not.  Ricky Bobby decided to let his golf swing become an unfolding lawn chair, and shoot a bog ole’ fat number to finish in a tie for second along with Duval, and Mickelson.  Oh yeah, did I mention Duval did make the cut.  Someone owes me a beverage.

Ross Fisher made a run at the end, and even Tiger seemed to be in the hunt for a moment.  Alas, the winner was crowned.  Not a past major champion, and barely a past champion at all.  Lucas Glover walked away with the win today.  Only his second win ever.  And he made number two a big splash (See how I made pun to taking a dump.  You like?)

4-under par got it done this year, and Glover got it done.  We at FaF wish him congratulations on the win, but are pissed at him from stealing Duval’s return to greatness and Mickelson’s bid to make a wish come true.  Hey, if you’re okay with wrecking great story lines, Lucas, that’s cool.  You do what you got to do.

Duval’s young son started crying after he learned that his dad did not win.  Are you happy Lucas?  You made a child cry:

Sleep well dream-crusher.

Okay enough bitterness from me.  You’d think I was from New York.  Oh burn.

It was a long fought battle.  Glover emerged as victorious.  You cannot take that away.  Unless of course he tests positive for steroids.  But as I sit here typing this, I am watching Glover’s parents crying out of happiness in an interview for the golf channel.  Okay, he deserves it.

So until next year.  The open goes back to Pebble Beach, the site of Tiger’s raping of the PGA tour in 2000.  Should be fun to watch.  Maybe Mickelson can win that one.  And hopefully Duval will still be hanging tough.

I’d like to thank WanksMcGruber for having such confidence in my choice for the winner in his last post.  Just because my Fantasy Football team blows the big one, does not mean I don’t know my golf.

Say hello to your mother for me,

Moose Knuckle

[All Pictures from Yahoo!Sports found here and here and here and here]