Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
I came to L.A. to make rock n’ roll. Along the way I had to sell my soul.
Show us your tits!
John Daly is an everyman’s hero. I have no problem stating that in print. Say it to yourself or scream it from the roof tops, “John Daly is my hero.”
As I write this, Daly is in the middle of his second round at the St. Jude Classic after shooting a 72 in the opening round. Don’t call it a comeback… yet. In fact, it may not be a comeback at all. This is a whole new Daly. Same gut, same swing, same smoke slowly exhaling as he walks the course, but definitely a whole new look.
We can all relate to a man that gets drunk and passes out at Hooters. Who hasn’t been there before? Who doesn’t want to pass out in hooters. They’re so warm and cozy and pillowy… wait, what are we talking about again? Oh, John Daly, that’s right.
Fourth and Fifty fully throws our support behind this giant among caddies. Good luck, this afternoon, John.
In other news and reminders:
- Lakers over Magic last night in the most exciting game of the series. I was really hoping that Pau Gasol would have taken a swing at Pietrus at the end of the game. That was a cheap foul for no reason.
- Game Seven of the Stanley Cup Final is tonight. Win and the cup is your personal goblet for a day. Lose and let the ice freeze your tears as they meet the surface.
- Eagles… You are idiots. IDIOTS!! I’m not saying that you need to ditch Donovan McNabb for Kevin Kolb (though I wouldn’t have minded) but, don’t restructure McNabb’s contract just for the sake of it when he has two years left. Who is going to pay for the dent in my wall left from the D-cell I just threw? Can I get $5.3M to repair the damage?
And now back to your regularly scheduled Houston sports updates:
TEXANS – Pipez has some choice Houston Texans updates for you this afternoon, so I’m going to refrain from spoiling the very sexy surprises. But, we’ll use this spot to report some NFL “breaking news.” In a move even surprising to the Oracle of Delphi the Atlanta Falcons have released Michael Vick. Didn’t see that one coming. (Seriously, what’s with my ancient Greek references?)
ROCKETS – Houston rockets are scaring Continental pilots. No. Not Ron Artest. Real, live rockets! Swoosh-bang stuff.
ASTROS – The game four of the NBA Finals was not the only game that went into extra time yesterday. The Astros knocked off the Cubs in 13 innings. Geoff Blum had the winning RBI on a blooping single. Two in a row. Not only wins, but game winning hits. Blum is a one-man closer. Two straight walk-off hits. Impressive.
UNIVERSITY of HOUSTON – Apparently, Akron isn’t too broken up over losing Mack Rhoades to UH to take over the AD spot. Should we be concerned with this?
- Septimus Rex
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(Seriously, what’s with my ancient Greek references?)
It’s because you’re smarmy and superior, Phaedrus.
The Eagles had to restructure McNabb’s contract after last year, but they were smart to not extend it, thus putting more pressure on him to play well. IMHO, They drafted young talent to place around a young QB (Kolb). They still like him, but they know they can get one more year out of a proven commodity like McNabb. Don’t forget that McNabb was healthier last season than he typically is, so they are probably gambling on him getting injured as well, in which case Kolb will get PT. They will probably try to sell high on McNabb after this season (unless he has an MVP caliber season, which I doubt).
Shut up, Pipez.