May 24th Houston Sports FaF Smear

You better learn to crawl before I walk away.

Two scoops, please.

We all have to admit that even though the home team is out of contention these NBA Playoffs have been pretty darn entertaining.  Gee, golly.

Even though the Nuggets seem content throwing away the game (literally) on bad inbounds pass after bad inbounds pass every game has been close.  No 30 or 40 point blowouts.  Each of the underdogs seem like they have a chance.  Not even just a chance.  Everybody seems even.  There is no turning the game off half way through the fourth quarter because the game is out of question.  This is obviously part of the vast conspiracy of David Stern.

The Lakers beat the Nuggets 103-97 (in case you missed it and Fourth and Fifty is your only sporting news source) last night to take a 2-1 lead in the series.  Tonight, the Magic are back home with the all-important home-court advantage against the Cavaliers.  Will LeBron pull out another ridiculous shot to win the game with one second on the clock that I miss because I’m taking a piss?  Let’s hope so(?).

And now a message from your Houston sports:

TEXANS – So I found this article about Gary Kubiak through the tangled interwebs.  Google showed me the black hole admist the depravity of pornography and snuff films.  A place called I Am the 12th Man.  Ugh, I feel dirty.  I need to take a shower to wash off the filth before I continue the rest of this morning’s Smear.

ROCKETS – Houston’s keeping the family together.  Even though two Christmases seems like it has it’s perks…  Adelman and assistants will be around for another three years.

ASTROS – Houston gets a passing grade in the first quarter of the season?  You have to get at least half of the questions right to get an “F” in school, right?  I guess the Shreveport Times is using the fucked up Organic Chemistry metric where two out of fifty correct is a “D.”

AEROS – The Aeros are keeping their winning ways.  After going down 3-0 to the Manitoba Goober Snatchers* they have won the last two games and force a Game 6 for tonight/tomorrow/whenever.

DYNAMO – Ching Kong scored his fourth goal of the season four minutes into yesterday’s match against the Quakes of San Jose.  Two more goals were added by the end of the game (Kamara and Cannon joining in on the fun) and the Dynamo came out on top 3-1.  But, seriously… when are we going to see Ade Akinbiyi take over the game?  Kinnear!  How about a little help for the bloggers over here?!  Put in the dude.  Give him a chance.  Only 76 minutes accrued over four games?

- Septimus Rex

* = Probably not Manitoba’s real nickname, but who cares…

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