May 15th: Houston Sports FaF Smear (and Rockets WIN!)

The one where Avery Johnson has GOT to be one of Santa’s elves.

Shake your finger, Carl Landry.  Shake it until it flies off from the knuckle. (Above video, if you didn’t catch that.)

Tonight’s game was definitely satisfying.  The Rockets came out of the gates like gangbusters.  A seventeen to one run?  Yes, thank you very much.  I’ll have some more of that.  At that point in the game Reginald Blackstone was calling for a complete and utter shutdown of the Lakers.  “I bet they hold them to one point for the entire game.”  Homer…

Things got a little sketchy there in the third quarter with the Lakers surging, cutting the deficit to three points.  I thought that my fantasies of game seven were completely inappropriate.  I did naughty things to that game seven.  I did.  I can admit that.  I’m not pure of heart.

Thankfully the Rockets managed to quell the attack of the defending Western Conference champs and finish out the game.  Coffee is for closers (Ed. Note – Yes, it’s the return of the mega-long Glengarry Glen Ross clip).  Rockets, you have made Houston proud and deserve your caffiene high this morning.

So, everyone, ride this high for the next couple days.  The rubber game of the series is on Sunday afternoon at 2:30 in the pm.  Live it up until then.

Though we’re all still waiting on the “fuck you” game by Kobe that both me and THE Random Guy have predicted, I do have one point to make:  We still haven’t seen the “fuck you” game by Ron-Ron.  Could it be that both superstars, Artest and Bryant, will explode in the final game?  Only time will tell.

[If you missed the game and want to read a full recap (from the Boston Herald) here you go.]

On to your other Houston sports updates:

TEXANS – There’s no time like September. There’s no time like September. There’s no time like September.

ROCKETS – Sure, we’ve already talked about them a little bit… But, I’ve got a bone to pick.  Deke, if you really must be trying to pick up skanks from Pravada could you do me the favor and have your driver pull the Escalade up a little bit so I can get by?  Seriously, dude.  I just want to get home.  I’m not fancy enough to be enjoying your club experience tonight.  I was just trying to get home so I could pen this witty blog and here you are keeping me from my duty.  Deke didn’t big time me, he no-timed me.  Asshole.  (Not really, buddy.  Much love.)

ASTROS – Bourn stole home?  Sweet!  The Astros won?  Even sweeter!  (I would post a link to the video of the steal but MLB.com has decided it doesn’t want to load right now.)  Houston downed Colorado five to three.  There’s still hope left?  (Finally, MLB.com is working again… this link should work.)

AEROS – If the Rockets can follow the Aeros’ lead I will be a very very very happy man.  The Aeros finished off their series with the Milwaukee Admirals last night in game seven with a final score of five to two.  The Western Conference finals start tonight(?) so Houston’s favorite sons will be headed directly for Manitoba to prepare for battle.

UNIVERSITY of HOUSTON – Ok, so I will admit that I don’t know anything about boxing let alone who Juan Diaz is… However, he’s set to graduate with a degree in Political Science from our grand University of Houston.  Seriously, that’s all I got.  If I do say so myself, that’s some pretty good internet sleuthing.  Google works wonders when you search “University of Houston” in the news.

- S. Rex: Professional Blogger