Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
The FaFU is the most bestest link dump you’ve never seen. I can’t make you click on the links (or can I?), but you’re missing out if you don’t. It’s a place for us to gripe about the stuff that really gets our goat. For the people, places, events and others that make this list we offer you a FaFU very much. We’re mother lovers here at Fourth and Fifty, not fighters. (This is the viral internet edition of the FaFU):
10) Group X – Dudes, you guys used to be so GREAT! Then you disappeared. What happened. I need more Bang, Bang, Bang in my life. I’m talking any kind of “bang, bang, bang” but specifically your lyrical variety. Schfifty-five? I listened to that fourteenteen times today.
9) S. Rex: Professional Blogger – You I am an insult to the profession. I can’t write about things in a timely manner. I’ve had a story about a former Nebraska QB suing EA Sports for using the likeness of his image in their football game for exactly a week. You know what I did with it? Nothing. Then Deadspin ran the story, finally, yesterday. IDIOT! FaF would have been sooooo big time if I had pulled that off.
8) Hipsters – I’m not a hipster hater. I’m more like a mole. I try to integrate myself into their lifestyle and see what I’ve been missing out on (I’ve learned that I’ve mostly been missing out on not showering). But, when a website like Look at this Fucking Hipster comes along you just can’t ignore the hilarity. Look at those shims, they have accessories for their accessories!! HA! (I’m not above a cliche joke)
7) Non-Hipsters – What? You think you’re not above being made fun of? Hipsters aren’t the only ones that we post random pictures of on an anonymous Tumblr account. I present to you Sad Guys on Trading Floors. Ha! Look at them losing all their money… all our money… dammit. Give me my money back!
6) Mets Fans – Documenting the first streaker at the new ballpark? Really?
5) American Football – Stop being called “American Football.” Why don’t you try that on for size. Do the “American” thing and just be “football.” I don’t care if the Brits have been playing a different kind of football over there for hundreds of years. That matters not. What matters is that being American isn’t enough being universally accepted is where the money is.
4) Dick Joke Harmonies – Even lesbians like a good dick joke from time to time. But singing dick joke lullabies? I don’t know if I can handle that. Fourth and Fifty is predicated on a list of vulgar humor (except Reginald, he’s too classy to curse or fart or attempt to stab someone in the eye with a dart). Maybe I’m just jealous that I can’t sing about my water slide length cock as beautifully as these guys.
3) What the… – If you’re brave enough to click on this link and then click on any of the other 20+ links on that page, you deserve a medal of honor. Those are some of the funniest/most disturbing/brutal/sick/hilarious gifs I’ve ever seen. Pick your poison. Pick carefully. But don’t worry, you can pick again. (Spoiler Alert: The Red Medallion [upper left corner]… All I have to say is “two dudes, one watermelon”)
2) Dinosaurs – Were there kids out there that were not Dinosaur fans when they were growing up? I distinctly remember when Toronto started their basketball team up there I thought they would most definitely be the most popular sports franchise of all time. Raptors, dude, raptors. They are kick ass… But, then some nitwit had to go and start Dinosaurs Fucking Robots. What has this world come to?
1) TRG’s Future Brother in Law – This is better if I block quote:
So I go to [redacted] for my sister’s college graduation. As an aside, either she has super-hot friends or I am used to working with accountants going through menopause. Probably both. So we’re at a graduation party with a keg, and this one guy keeps telling me how hot my sister is. The drunker he gets, the more lewd his descriptions get. Finally he says “Dude, your sister…I don’t just want to fuck her, although I do. I just think she’s a really cool person.” I thought about choking him unconscious but realized that if I did that, I’d just be another asshole looking for an excuse to fight. But he really said that. So the random drunk hick in Lexington Kentucky deserves an FAFU, I think.
Yes, sir. That does belong in the FaFU. And, I PROMISE that next time I’ll be a little bit more tactful when we’re all together…
- S. Rex: Professional Blogger
9 Comments
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I like how you redacted the first mention of the place when I only said the state, but not the second, when I more descriptively named the city and the state. I’ll choke you unconscious, and your hetero life partner TypeKnerd.
I’m all about Journalistic consistency and integrity.
I was going to write some words of support in how you dealt with that situation, with cool reserve, no more. You’ve brought me back into the fight. You better ask Alastor Moody if you can barrow his magical eye, you’ll need it for when danger lurks, and by danger, I mean ME and REX arms locked skipping towards you in the dog park.
p.s. Don’t act like your above my HP reference.
Really, Typeknerd, TRG’d be better served by the foe-glass. EVERYONE knows that.
You’re right. The magic eye was instinct, I’ll know better next time.
You nerds have scared away our two readers, which I’m sure was your intent. NERRRDDDSSS!!
Those readers were NERDS too. Are you not privy to the stats breakdown of the FAF?
I’d go into it, but I don’t want to bore you with the details, Ogre.
http://images.chron.com/blogs/blog9/ogre03.jpg
3). I can’t believe I kept looking at those things after I already knew of the fruit violations…Lollercaust. The next generation is doomed.
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