May 13th: Houston Sports FaF Smear (and I Don’t Want to Talk About It)

The one where seriously, read the title, I don’t want to talk about it.

Can I look? I don't wanna.

We all saw it coming.  Didn’t we?  Just take a scroll down.  Show me one post that says “Houston’s going to trounce the Lakers in two straight games.”

Are you done scrolling?  You didn’t find anything.  You found cautionary tales, foreboding premonitions and “watch out behind” type warnings.

We all saw this coming.

That doesn’t make it hurt less.

Game six brings the series back to Houston.  This series has the chance to go to seven games.  We all know the Rockets have the “will and the way” to send it back to L.A. for the rubber game.  But, for now, I have no words.

On to your less depressing Houston sports updates:

TEXANS:  Boomer Grigsby is now a part of the Houston family.  I would be lying if I told you I knew who this cat was.  But, read the article.  He’s really excited.  Here’s a quote:

“I’m definitely not a fan of limbo. I’m a typical alpha male athlete. I want to know the direction I’m headed, and I want to get there as fast as I can.”

ROCKETS:  Nope.  Still don’t have any idea on what to say after last night’s debacle.  Actually, I got this e-mail which brings back some Rockets nostalgia:

Dear Mr. Rex,

I wanted to let you know that NBA Legend Robert Horry will be in Houston tomorrow presenting [redacted] High School with a $1,000 check as part of the NBA “got milk”  Get Fit By Finals program.

The Get Fit  program aims to inspire young people to increase their daily physical activity and make healthier food and beverage choices.

Please let me know if you would like more information on the event or would like to receive additional photos from the presentation.

Look forward to hearing from you!

[Redacted]

Awwwwww, Mr. Big Shot Rob is going to be in town and his publicist wants Fourth and Fifty to have the inside scoop-tastic photos.  Unless that check is made out to S. Rex: Professional Blogger, I don’t want any part of it.  J/K!  J/K!!! (geez, I hate internet acronyms)  I think we will actually take up [redacted] on their offer.  (For the record, putting “[redacted]” in posts in lieu of names will never get old to me after the whole getting served issue.)

ASTROS:  Stats people, tell me how many times a team has been fortunate enough to give up a grand slam and win.  Now, go ahead and make that percentage even smaller.  The Astros fell to the Rockies, giving up two home runs (one being the salami of the grandest kind) to Ian Stewart.  The final was… hell, do you even really need to know the final?  A lot to a little.  Ok?

AEROS:  The deciding game seven was last night.  Unfortunately nobody cares about the AHL so I haven’t been able to find a score for the game.  Oooooh!!  Turns out I’m the idiot that said the final game of the series was supposed to be Tuesday night.  Well, it’s tonight.  Sue me.  You didn’t even read the three sentences on the Aeros anyway.

UNIVERSITY of HOUSTON:  PLEASE DON’T GO!  Europeans smell funny.  They don’t shower.  I swear this is the honest truth, Qa’rraan.  I wouldn’t lie to you.  They have a funny thing that shoots you in the ass with a jet of water after you’re done going to the bathroom.  You might be into that kind of thing and that’s a-ok.  But, if you don’t like probing water striking your choade then Europe is not the place for you.

- S. Rex: Professional Blogger

[Photo from LOL Cats (hahahaha, actually I'm not "laughing out loud" or at all) I Can Haz Cheezburger]

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