MORTAL KOMBAT (Rockets & Lakers Game 1)

(Ed Note – Open this song in a different window, leave it running, and then click back to Faf.  At some point, we’ll figure out how to run a blog.  Maybe.)  The ever-mercurial S. Rex, Professional Blogger, put me on a leash and then just as quickly took me off after last night’s bloodletting.  So Happy Cinco de Mayo!  Rockets Win-O 100-92!  FaF’s own Reginald Blackstone is either a wizard or a magician. El Recap (that’s Spanish for recap):

• Shane Battier is a Fighter of Ultimate-ness. He’d beat Sasha’s ass in the octagon any day of the week. Probably not in a street fight, because Sasha’s euro-trash possee would jump in and shank Battier in the back with their broken Zima bottles and then drive away on their mopeds.

• Yao woke up from his 15-8 slumber and had a gigantic game.  Get it? Gigantic? Zing! 28, 10, 2, and 1 (knee).  Welcome to the playoffs, big fella. This is Yao’s first chance to make a real impression on casual basketball fans who only know that he is a very tall communist.
• Mike Kyle Lowry is very fast. I put that in italics because it looks faster written that way. The Rox have the fastest PG tandem in the league, methinks.
• You have to love plus/minuses.  Scola +12.  Brooks +11. Artest + 19?!? Wafer -9. Von Wizzile gets a free pass for being the Altered Beast. On the Lakers side, only Jordan Farmar had a positive +/-, and we’ve already discussed whether he can “keep it up“.
• I’m not sure if there is a bigger hit-or-miss player in the league than Ron Artest. I know he was NBA Jam On Fire (TM) last night, but we should all be very worried about him jacking up 43 shots in game 2.  Please don’t sue us, NBA Jam and/or whomever owns their intellectual property.
• Kobe taking 7 threes is almost always a good thing for the opponent. I don’t know why he does this – he can get inside anytime he wants, and it isn’t like he is afraid of contact. Some guys (Vince Carter) shut it down after they get bumped once, but Kobe seems to like it rough. I heard he had a runny nose and a tummy ache, which might explain the 3s. Someone needs to give him a pedialite popsicle. After the series.
• It struck me earlier in the season that you can always tell if Trady McGrady is taking his training/recovery serious or not by his beard. If he isn’t training and is a little pudgy, he grows the beard to hide the double chin. If he’s in the gym working on his fitness (as Fergie says), then he’s clean shaven. It’s like predicting the weather by watching your dog.  Please don’t sue us, double chins and/or Fergie.  

Picture from: http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=167981&page=3&pp=20.  Please don’t sue us, Dave.

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