Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
Kobe Bryant is getting a little too cocky. Hey look at me I have 3 NBA Championships, I use to be the MVP, I won a gold medal in the Olympics, my team is the number 1 seed in the West. Your accolades mean nothing. You’re going to have to face Shane Battier, this guy has so many intangibles it will drive you mad trying to find them. Yao Ming is taller than anyone on your team, so in your face. Aaron Brooks looks like Chris Rock, do you have any players that look like celebrities on your team? Ron Artest will, refer to picture above. Luis Scola will dominate you with his Argentinean skills. That’s just the Rockets starters. You still have to deal with Carl Landry, who doesn’t even let bullets slow him down. Kyle Lowry is solid, and Von Wafer has the shooting skillz to put Los Lakers in a hospital.
The Rockets have fought their way past the first round of the playoffs after failing to do so on the previous six opportunities. For all of you that have been following our playoff predictions you might note that T. Random Guy’s newborn child a/k/a The Random Baby picked the Portland Trail Blazers to beat the Rockets in Round 1. How’s that working out for you Random Baby?
Enough trash talking infants likely 20 times smaller than me. The Rockets faced the Lakers four times during the regular season and walked away with a loss each time, but I’m not ready to count them out just yet. Let’s take a look at each of these games:
November 9, 2008: Loss 82-111 (Away) This was early in the season, so this loss doesn’t count.
January 13, 2009: Loss 100-105 (Home Game) Rockets were getting use to Tracy being out of the line up.
March 11, 2009: Loss 96-102 (Home Game) New line up excuse again. Post Alston trade.
April 3, 2009: Loss 81-93 (Away) I’m going to call this one a strategic loss, due to playoff positioning.
From this flawless analysis we can see that none of the Lakers wins against the Rockets during the season were legitimate. Game 1 starts this Monday at 10:30ET. I’m expecting this series to go to 7 games.
-Reginald Blackstone
Photos [musicwarship][publicpress]
4 Comments
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I’m not going to feel bad about posting porn “above the fold” anymore. And you guys better watch out shit-talking Random Baby. She is doing better than some ESPN experts. I’m tracking that shit.
Of the 10 ESPN experts (11 if you count Random Baby), she is tied for 3rd place right now. I’ve got a scorecard matrix and everything. Don’t think there isn’t a post in the works…
Hope I didn’t just jinx her this weekend.
You and your two-comment-without-prompt baby predictions mean nothing to me.
Reginald Blackstone, whom I thought was “too classy” for such things, calls her out, above. So did you, two days ago. I’m going to prompt my shank into your professional back when you aren’t looking.