FaF Player Profile: Joel Przybilla

  Looks like Houston has a new Public Enemy # 1: Joel Przybilla. You’ve watched the series. You’ve seen the Przybilla flops, the grabasses, the dirty bumps, the rabblerousing and the righteous indignation every time a foul is called on him. I’m 100% sure he’s good for an undercut on Carl Landry at some point in [...]

Tribute to Dikembe Mutombo

In a sad turn of events, the great Dikembe Mutombo has been seriously injured, in Game 2 of the Rockets Trailblazers Playoff Series.  Although Dikembe previously announced his retirement at the end of this season, this latest knee injury will likely keep him out of the game for good. We will all remember and appreciate [...]

Mocking the Draft: Final Edition

Mocking the NFL Draft is a column running weekly until the NFL Draft, in which Pipez literally* puts on a Mel Kiper wig and discusses the tough issues surrounding the draft. Well kids, this is your final lesson. You are almost ready for the 48 straight hours of NFL draft coverage on FourthandFifty.com ESPN and [...]

Daily FaF Smear (4/21/09)

The one where I have no idea what the hell I’m doing but I’m gonna do it. The Celtics surely miss Kevin Garnett, but they are not at a loss for exciting playoff performances.  Game one went to overtime.  Game two, Ray Allen had other ideas. Down the stretch the game turned into a bare-knuckle [...]

I Will Miss John Madden’s Penises (Peni?)

You may have heard that a certain legendary coach, broadcaster and pioneering video game developer retired last week. He was also a spokesman for the Turducken Manufacturers of America, which spends its days devising new ways to stuff delicious animals with other delicious animals. Their current project, still in the early stages of R&D is [...]

Daily FaF Smear (4/20/09)

The one where I put on for my city. Welcome to my first smear.  Much like Scott from Season 5 of The Wire, I’ve been promoted due to general incompetence and flat-out lies.  Now, just like Scott, I want my Pulitzer.  You hear me, Houston Press?  Rookie Blogger of the Quarter or some such.  Why [...]

MLB Needs Better Play Review: Joe West is Washed Up

The MLB really needs some additional form of play review besides reviewing homeruns.  I’m watching the Astros today.  It was the bottom of the 5th, based loaded, with 1 out.  Geoff Blum takes the plate for the Astros.  Blum hits an in field grounder which is fielded by the Brandon Phillips, the second baseman.  Phillips [...]

2008-2009 NBA MVP and Why LeBron is Life Fail

With the playoffs upon us, it seemed time to dole out the MVP and LVP awards. Hell of a regular season. Least Valuable Player 3. Eric Snow, NBATV – An absolute train wreck in front of the camera. They always talk about him being next in line for a coaching position, and I think they [...]

Rockets Playoffs: The Briefest and Worst Preview Ever

I don’t pretend to know much about “Basketball.” However, I am man enough to make bold predictions with little to no research to back them up. The Rockets manage to tank in the final few minutes of the final regular season game, taking them out of the two seed, and into the 5 seed. But [...]

Daily FaF Smear (4/18/09)

The one where why is Mel Kiper yelling at me so early in the morning? Fourth and Fiftians, where have you been?  Where is your support? The Flyers fell in overtime to the Penguins last night 3-2.  This is not acceptable.  There’s no such thing as “home-ice advantage” in the NHL playoffs.  Pittsburgh should never [...]