Daily FaF Smear (4/26): The NFL Draft

The one where “you’re kind of an asshole. I bought you a beer and you don’t even know my name.”

Ready to accept his first commands from the Dark Lord, Bill Belichick

The first day of the draft is still too long.  Yeah, I said it.  What are you going to do about it?  (I know what I would do about it.)  But, cutting down the pick time to ten minutes for the first round really did wonders. It shouldn’t take longer than ten minutes for the Raiders brass to wake up Al Davis so he can screw the pooch on another pick.

But, this was one of the more interesting drafts that I’ve seen (read: two total drafts).  It seemed like every time I turned around Cleveland was trading another pick stock up on later rounds.  Jets fans actually cheered(?) their team’s move up the board to get Mark Sanchez.  The Detroit Lions ended up with Stafford which everyone knew about on Friday, but they had fans(?) that showed up to Radio City Music Hall anyway to be told that once again.

Interesting Moves:

• Pat White (QB from West Virginia) was drafted by Miami as a wide receiver.  (Hopefully this will be a bit better than when Eric Crouch was drafted out of Nebraska as a wide-out by the Rams)
• The Raiders?  What the fuck?
• Jeremy Maclin (WR) and LeSean McCoy (RB) to the Eagles… Moving up for Maclin was a big surprise to me.  Taking another Westbrook-esque running back is also kind of an interesting move.
• Roger Goodell making the funnies: “The Cleveland Browns have finally selected [pause for comedic effect] The Browns have selected Alex Mack.”  The Commish laying down the one liner after Cleveland had traded it’s previous two selections.

Your Houston (mostly NFL Draft related) updates are up ahead:

Texans – I don’t think you’re going to find too many people disappointed with the Texans choices during the first two rounds of the Draft.  They picked the “bad guy” from D2: The Mighty Ducks, Coach Wolf Stansson, look alike Brian Cushing.  Houston went after defense again with their second pick, DE Connor Barwin out of Cincinnati.  It’s hard to be a critic of the Texans’ drafting strategy.  Even if you do find something wrong with this year, remember that they proved you to be imbecilic a couple-three years back when they drafted Mario Williams.

Rockets – Up 2-1 in the series, the Rockets play tonight to try to keep control of the home-court advantage they stole away from Portland.  Since the level of shit talking has grossly expanded since the series started: Hey, Przybilla, tell me how my ass taste.

Astros – Houston is now 6-12… a far cry away from a 90-win season predicted by our fearless (senseless?) manager.  They lost to the Brewers in extra innings yesterday.  They try to avoid that same fate this afternoon at around 1pm.  Things better pick up soon or else baseball season will be dead to me.

University of Houston – Sebastian Vollmer was drafted in the 26th spot of the second round yesterday.  The evil mastermind, Bill Belichick picked up Seabass because of his versatility on the offensive line.  Congrats, fellow Cougar.  Vollmer was the first C-USA product to be selected in this NFL Draft.  I don’t know why I think that’s important.

Rice – Rice fans still patiently awaiting to be relevant in this years draft… Maybe in day two, Owls.  Maybe.

Other, Non-Houston Things – The Flyers’ hope of a Stanley Cup has been extinguished.  Thanks for nothing, Fourth and Fifty readers.  Geez.