Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
The one where I have to miss the NFL Draft, so I gamble on it instead.
Good luck to the Detroit Lions in drafting Matthew Stafford. The rookie is getting a whopping $41.7 million in guaranteed money, out of his $71 million 6 year deal. That’s alot of money to pay a guy that could turn out to be another Ryan Leaf. At least he will have Megatron there to help him out.
Rockets: In case you missed it last night, the Rockets punched the Blazers in their face. McGrady was at the game, but I know he was secretly rooting for the Rockets to lose. Two games down and two to go. I hate to admit but referee Tony Brothers actually called a pretty good game last night. After watching last nights game, I think he’s just a hard ass that loves to call fouls. You suck Portland.
Texans: The glorious and long awaited NFL Draft is finally upon us. Go buy some beer, I have a great drinking game for you. Every time Mel Kiper criticizes a team for not picking the best available player on his mock draft board you bong a beer. The ESPN geniuses Mel Kiper and Todd McShay have Brian Cushing(might have changed) and Aaron Maybin respectively, going in the first round to the Texans.
Astros: The Brewers pulled out a win over the Astros 5-2 yesterday. Hopefully Houston can even the series tonight, game starts at 6:05pm. You have already lost two in a row, don’t make it three or your out.
University of Houston: Since Dave Maggard retired as the Athletic director, there has been talk that perhaps UH alum Mike Pede may get the job.
Dynamo: Dominic Kinnear signs a multi-year deal to keep him with the Dynamo through 2012. This is coincidentally the same year the Mayans predicted the end of the world, so any contracts made past this date are irrelavent.
Aeros: Houston leads Peoria 3-2 as of now in the 2009 Calder Cup Playoff run. If Houston wins tonight they can close out the series. If you want to watch the game, the Maple Leaf Pub will be showing it live. The game starts at 7pm.
-Reginald Blackstone
Photo [theonion]
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I hope Stafford’s contract comes with a better psychologist than David Carr’s, otherwise we’re looking at another white gloves incident. PTSD because of a truly terrible offensive line that gets his ass mowed.