Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
MMA: The only guy on guy action on FaF... and even that's questionable.
I love me some mixed martial arts. Go ahead and make the joke, you sophomoric philistine. Yes, I love when half-naked men roll around on top of each other. Are you happy? Does it make you feel warm and tingly inside? This will make you very warm and tingly . Please finish junior high first and then come back.
To the adults in the room who haven’t caught on to the human cockfighting, MMA is a great sport because it combines 7+ martial arts like judo, karate, jiu jitsu, boxing, muy thai, etc. Much like Old Spice’s half man-half horse, if you hate on MMA, then you are a “seven things-ist.”
The Ultimate Fighting Championship produces a reality show about twice per year where unsigned fighters fight for contracts and also drink and break stuff out of sheer boredom. It’s a winning formula. They have nominal teams to keep things interesting but this year they’ve thrown in a fantastic wrinkle. Since British Mike Bisping won Ultimate Fighter 2, the sport’s popularity has exploded across the pond and now the UK has a strong catalog of pugilists. So this year is country vs country.
[Please note - I would have called this entry “The Ultimate Superpower” or “The Ultimate Empire” if Britain were either of those things. Hey UK, 1300 AD called; it wants its world domination back. Zing! And boom goes the dynamite.]
I’m really excited about hating on the red-coats and even challenged Wanks MacGruber to a deathmatch. The ne’er do’ell didn’t accept my offer, mainly because he didn’t want to become Boston Tea Party 2. If he ever accepts my challenge, I’ll come out wearing a “Teabag This, You Bloody Wanker” shirt. Will my theme music be Total Eclipse of the Heart? Bet your ass. That’s an American song if I ever heard one. I’d be surprised if John Cougar Melencamp didn’t write it.
Even without Wanks’ participation, I am taking the liberty of using the Ultimate Fighter to settle our intercontinental grudge match once and for all. Every week I’ll keep track of who won, a tally sheet (called “Tally Ho”, of course), and make a few ethnocentric observations.
First week of the show it was Brits fighting Brits to see who gets to come to America. Nothing too interesting except Run Fatboy Run (Shaun of the Dead) is apparently a balding MMA figher. The American prelims were this week, and it got off to a really bad start. Two guys didn’t make weight, another fainted 30 seconds into the show and yet another had herpes on his head and tried to hide it with a hat. I’m not making that up. The actual fighters looked pretty good, especially one who looks like Carrot Top.
Next week starts country vs. country. God save the queen. From America’s spinning backfist.
– THE Random Guy
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By far my favorite MMA clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG3xEIbptWU
The best part is the “ref” – he gets a bit too excited and then starts freaking out.
I am a 7 thingsist, only when it is a diluted 7 things that I’m watching. Bring back the masters of one or two Martial arts, have them square off to see which art of fighting is supreme. Now it’s a bunch of guys who know 7 things spread entirely too thin, average at them all. Slap.
That’s a damn lie and you know it. Sean Sherk challenged Roy Jones Jr. to a boxing match, and Roy said no. The top guys are usually multiple black belts in several disciplines, and not the watered down Rex Kwan Do black belts either.
TypeKnerd, you’re trying to pick a fight, and you’re about to succeed. Next time I see you at the discotheque, I’m not even going to need the white satin glove. Just a homemade shank in your back during the Electric Slide.
I am interested in buying a copy of this photograph in poster version. Is it for sale?
Yes. Send 11 billionty dollars to Fourth and Fifty, PO Box 69, Houston TX 77006.
You spend more time covering your tracks for your Lesnar obsession than he does discussing Mir at all.