Septimus Rex
Johnny 5
Pipez
wanksmacgruber
Josh Being Josh
Moose Knuckle
The one where we are happy for UNC but scared for the US economy.
Burn, baby, BURN!!
There’s nothing quite like watching a championship game that gets boring less than 10 minutes into it [Ed. Note - I'm always exciting for 40-100 minutes. Right, ladies?]. Last night was one of those nights with the trouncing of Michigan State done by Psycho T and his unruly gang of Tarheels.
The spurtability of the North Carolina squad was too much to handle. The jumped out of the gates quickly. If I remember correctly, Michigan State was only in this game for about 2 minutes. They even had the lead at one point. Albeit, that lead was 3-2 and after the second shot of the game.
I had no real bias going into the game. I don’t like either program; one for being in the Big 10, the other for being too damn good over the years. But, I’m happy for the Tarheels and Roy Williams. Congratulations at single-handedly ripping out the heart of the Detroit automotive industry, pricks.
At least the furniture industry still has some life in it. Somebody’s going to have to build some new couches to replace the ones burned last night.
If you missed the game you didn’t miss a thing. The 89-72 score isn’t as close as it seems. It was a domination. Kind of like watching Memphis play any of the C-USA teams this past year. I cried a little on the inside. Then I cried a lot on the outside, because, well, One Shining Moment. Nothing pulls the heart strings more than that little montage.
Up ahead are your Houston sports updates:
Texans: What better publication than one from Seattle to give you another draft preview for the Houston Texans? That’s a rhetorical question. The answer is “none are better.”
Rockets: Home game against Superman and the Magic tonight. Remember what we talked about, Rockets. Just keep it that we don’t play the Jazz in the first round of the playoffs and nobody gets hurt… Don’t you like how that sounds?
Astros: The Astros opened the season just as you kind of figured they would. You know, because they had so much momentum going into the season. Especially with that loss to their own Corpus Christi Hooks… They were beat by Carlos Zambranoand (C-Zam: pronounced Sah-ZAM!!) and the Cubs 4-2 last night.
Dynamo: ADE!!!!! AKINBIYI!!!
- Septimus Rex
[Photo by Chris Keane/Getty Images]
6 Comments
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Best draft preview ever. Here’s my take on Seattle:
They will attempt to draft someone good that will help them, most likely on either offense or defense.
You might as well make draft previews about what it will be like during the draft and not what players you think the team is going to draft. Kind of like a movie trailer or something. “32 teams… Only ONE can pick first…”
Who won the FaF tourny bracket? oh wait that was me bitches
It’s all about shameless self promotion around here….. :p
This was damned near cruel and unusual punishment (UNC scored 55 points in the first half, the most ever in a championship game), but Roy decided to show mercy by putting second and THIRD string players in to keep the lead under 30 points. At one point, Tyler Hansbrough, Ty Lawson, and Wayne Ellington were all on the bench at the same time!
I completely understand it though. Michigan State’s mommies and daddies would have gotten really pissed off that UNC was being unsportsmanlike by beating their asses into the ground, and would have demanded that Mich. St. was given a “Co-Winner” trophy. We almost had another Covenant School situation on our hands (http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/012609dnspocovenantnu.2781526.html).
It’s not like NCAA basketball performances have any bearing on real-world issues for these students. You know, silly things like recruiting. Multi-million dollar contract opportunities should be subjugated to the poor wittle feelings of Mich. St. players and their mommies.
Dude, that was at the very end of the game… Less than 2 minutes left. Roy didn’t let up on the gas until then… Watch a game or something.