The one where I don’t want to do donuts, I want to eat them.
Turning right is overrated.
Fourth and Fifty is here to appease the world nation state city some random people with sporting “news.” There has been a clamoring (in this case a “clamor” only constitutes one person’s request) for more NASCAR coverage. Ask and ye shall receive. Especially after the driver that YOU chose for ME wins a race over your favorite. Kyle “Go Out and Get It” Busch beat out the competition at Bristol this past weekend. You know who didn’t win? Carl Edwards. Eff that guy. he didn’t even place. That’s what he gets for dumping Amanda Beard. You’ve ruined my swimmer fantasy, gear head. I can never gaze longingly at her playboy spreads look at her Speedo advertisements the same ever again.
Just so I feel like I’m doing a complete job in covering this “sport” this win puts Mr. Busch in 4th place behind Clint Bower, his brother Kurt Busch and Jeff Gordon who’s currently in the lead. Carl Edwards’ back-flipping ass is in 5th place.
Consider your NASCAR itch… itched?
Up ahead are your Houston real sports updates:
Texans: Did I just write about Amobi Okoye yesterday? Oh well. He’s one of those players you don’t mind writing about since he seems to be a decent human. Well, until we find him coked out of his gourd with three hookers doing in the back of a Lamborghini limo (and if that picture’s fake they need to make a real one). Okoye is headed to Nigeria with several other players to launch a sports academy. The trip will happen this weekend which is ok because there’s NO FOOTBALL going on right now! GAH!
Rockets: These couple of weekends, past and present, are the ones that I forget that the NBA exists because my whole existence is wrapped up in the NCAA Tournament. However, the Rockets were playing the Spurs for the division lead yesterday afternoon which they promptly tore away from the team from San Antonio. Yao Ming ended up with the game-winning assist to Luis Scola with less then 30 seconds left. 87-85 was the final score of this low-scoring affair. The Rockets actually came back from a late deficit to win this game. If they keep exceeding my expectations like this I have no idea what I’m going to do.
Astros: I’m surprisingly long-winded today. Thankfully it’s Astros news time and there’s still nothing to write about being that it’s spring training. Soon enough, Astros fans, soon enough they’ll begin playing games that will matter… For now, Pudge Rodriguez played in his first game for the home team. And they lost again won?? Well, la dee da I-Rod. It’s just a coincidence I’m sure.
Cougars: They won the 4 X 100m relay at the TSU relays, but I’m kind of too lazy to get you a link to it right now. You’re just going to have to take my word for it.
Rice: I can’t stand the fact that ya’ll are tearing up that proverbial ass in baseball season again, so I’m not going to pay attention until the Regionals start. Go be smart or something. You’re probably not reading this anyway. Not enough Locke jokes.
- Septimus Rex
[Photo from ESPN and John Harrelson/Getty Images]
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NASCAR, really? Maybe, I’ll be able to accept it if I put a dip in, and blare Toby Keith singing about putting a boot in someone’s ass.
I tried to balance it with the sexiness of Amanda Beard… I stopped short of the NSFW Playboy pics, but I was so close to putting those up.
FINALLY, you’ve found the missing link! You’ll be sure to see a boost in your ratings now that you’ve completed your blog by adding one of the GREATEST sports EVER! What ever happened to fair and balanced reporting? I feel that this article is a little biased Mr. Rex. Mark my words… It’s just the beginning. Carl’s warming up… He’s gotta have something to work for otherwise it would make for a boring season. Just wait, you’re going to see more back flips than you can handle!
Was this article courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue?
… and the number 1776 and the chemical testosterone.
nobody beats dale jr. nobody. (even though they do, they still don’t) and yes, right turns ARE overrated.